My Enemy as My Friend

IMG_3693“The best way to destroy an enemy is to make him a friend.” – Abraham Lincoln

But what if the very idea of this person close to you in any way is nauseating?

I have a very visceral reaction to a certain person and I have been thrust back into his circle of influence. My arch nemesis. I get to see him on Wednesday.

He is the consummate politician… smiling brightly as he drives the knife into your back. He simply cannot be trusted. I left my other practice because of this man. Five years ago.

I have not seen him or spoken to him since. But now, somehow, my little clinic has been lumped into his regional “pod” and he has been dubbed the person that will “discuss” my clinic’s referral issues. Apparently, I have to fight to maintain my patients’ right to have any specialist they desire, instead of only referring within the system.

You can read more about this issue from a previous post of mine, The Spread Sheet. If you have not read it, I recommend a quick perusal so you can understand what is at issue. It is not just here, it is all over the country in the large physician groups. Why does your doctor choose the specialists that they choose? Have you ever wondered?

But this post today is not so much about that as it is dealing with difficult people that you loath.

My first inclination was to not show for the meeting. That feeling passed after a few hours when the initial shock wore off. I will be there. I will be dressed in a short black skirt, high heels, and a low cut blouse (because that makes him angry). I will make my points calmly. I will resist being bated by him. I even intend to be sweet and jovial…there will be people watching.

And then I will wait.

I have a very hard time keeping my mouth shut when I dislike or disagree with something. I hate politics in the workplace even of they are inevitable…mainly because it is hard for me to play the game. I am not sure why it is so difficult to bite my tongue, but it is.

So very hard.

Ultimately, I am jealous of those politicians on some level, which may be why I hate them so much. They posses a gift with which I simply have not been blessed. THEY can avoid conflict, rise in the organization. I cannot. I am jealous, too, because I imagine their lives are so much more peaceful. It would be nice to be able to just shut up and fly beneath the radar.

Life may be trying to teach me something.


13 thoughts on “My Enemy as My Friend

  1. You can do this, poise and grace pisses people off, use them to your advantage :o) I am much like you, I cannot remain silent when there is something to be said . . . The world needs those of us who have the ability to do so, even though we may often see it as a shortcoming, the ones who typically fly beneath the radar sometimes wish they could stand and be heard.


  2. I always find that a hint of a smile and a knowing look unnerves the most confident of politicians. They all really are terribly insecure. So I tend to make them wonder exactly why I am trying not to smile. Am I picturing them in their underwear? Have I heard how they embarrassed themselves in that meeting the other day.

    Have fun with it.


  3. I too suffer from Bigmouthitis. I just can’t keep my trap shut when I see something is sideways. Sometimes I get in trouble but more often than not I am thanked for verbalizing what others were thinking and were to timid to speak.


  4. I used to do lots of College politics but I gave up when I realised that I couldn’t be like one of them. There are people like that in my life too, and I often dread seeing them. Good luck. It will disturb him of you act as if nothing he had to say was going to ruffle your feathers!


  5. I understand the difficulties. It is hard to be the person you really are when dealing with petty, negative, and destructive. Patients need a voice. I pick my all of them. I believe you are right. Hugs, Barbara


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