Adventures At The Pet Store

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My son caught a little, tiny frog the other day. He stored it in a small mason jar for days. No food. What do you feed a tiny frog? Ants? So I told my son that he had to let it go. It was the humane thing to do. I figured it would be a good life lesson.

The poor kid cried for an hour straight, wracked with sobs, mourning his frog. He was hoarse from the wailing.

So to make it up to him, I told him he would get to pick out a “real” pet at the pet store the next day.

“Just NO dogs or cats. Got it?”

He nodded solemnly. “Got it.”

This morning he bounded into my room, hopped onto the bed, and yelled “Mommy, it’s PET day!!!” Huge smile…

So I took the kids to the pet store.

My son fell in love with a small lizard.

My daughter fell in love with a Miss Piggy dog costume and put it on her head.

“Your daughter has such beautiful hair, all golden and curly!” said the older strange woman as she passed down the aisle. “Thank you…” I said after her.

It wasn’t my daughter’s hair. It was Miss Piggy’s hair.

At any rate, the lizard’s price tag said $7.60. I breathed a sigh of relief. This is gonna be great!

Then, I was informed of everything I needed for the “habitat”.

$230 later… A dog would have been cheaper.

I should have just let him keep that dang frog!

Fine. Whatever. I did make a promise. Stupid me.

So then, at the checkout, who showed up behind me? A patient! She began talking with me, showing me her grandson.

My son, meanwhile, was so proud of his lizard that he wanted to get her attention so he could show her. How did he get her attention?

He grabbed her boob.

My 4 year old son (who looks like he is 7 1/2) grabbed a woman’s boob and then squeezed it. In public.

The world came to a screeching halt. There was a roaring in my ears. In slow motion I saw the horrified look cross this woman’s face. My son pulled his hand away. He took a step back. He stammered.

What to do? Call my son out and do a teaching moment about never touching a woman’s boob without her permission? Does she want me to make a scene in the store? Or should I just ignore it? I can’t ignore it. I cannot just ignore it. What if he does it again to someone else? But I wouldn’t want someone talking to their son about my boob in public.

So I apologized and told her that he and I would have a discussion about it in the car. I hurriedly paid for the cheap lizard and his expensive paraphernalia and the Miss Piggy dog/daughter costume, and made my exit.

In the end I lost a lot of money, my dignity, and probably a patient. All in the pet store.

Now, I will drown my sorrows in cold fried pickles and ranch dressing…

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51 thoughts on “Adventures At The Pet Store

  1. That was just too funny! I know it wasn’t amusing at the time, but I can just picture the situation. One of my kids as a toddler shouted out, while in line the checkout register: “Daddy, look at that funny looking man!” She didn’t just shout, either, she also pointed. The guy wasn’t really funny looking to anyone else, but to a 4-year-old? Who knows. My husband was afraid the guy would ask him to meet outside in the parking lot!

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  2. Best story of the day! πŸ™‚

    And any mother/grandmother/aunt/person anywhere near the raising of a young child knows they grab you to get their attention. Now….if he was FIFTEEN it would be different. πŸ™‚

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  3. Your story made my day. A few weeks ago I bought my daughter a dwarf rabbit. Over $200 later, we have a big rabbit who makes Cocoa Pebbles non-stop. I have a feeling that your lizard will be around longer than our bunny. Good luck!

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  4. Reblogged this on idealisticrebel and commented:
    I am sorry but this is the best story I have heard in days. I have the entire image in my mind. It is priceless. I got out of a why is that lady sitting there with a blanket all over herself. It is hot! Take courage. He’ll soon be a teenager. Hugs, Barbara

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  5. Hahahaha. Sorry, but this is hilarious. I am sure the lady was just too shocked that a young man wanted to feel her up….. It has probably been a while for her. (Ok, I will stop being incorrigible and a bad influence on your son).

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  6. Talk about timing, just yesterday we had friends over and as they were leaving my little guy copped a big feel on my friend! Luckily she’s also a mother of boys and just laughed it off but I’ll be very careful about going into pet stores now too!

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  7. Oh for god’s sake! The old girl should have just laughed it off. A little kid grabbed her boob. So what? And I’m with Tiffany on this one, she should have been glad someone still wants to check the melons for ripeness.

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  8. You’re a great mom! I know I shouldn’t laugh out loud but, there it is πŸ™‚

    Now I’m bracing myself because in two weeks my 9 year old son will go to the pet store to bring home 3 mice and their expensive environment. Hopefully, I’ll have absolutely nothing to blog about πŸ™‚

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  10. I hope the lizard is doing well. I must confess to preferring dogs. However having a dog is such a big responsibility. I am lucky as Trigger, being a guide dog goes everwhere with me including restaurants and my place of work. Unfortunately many dogs get left at home where they get lonely as, being pack animals they need company. The boob grabbing incident could have been worse, your son could have put the creature down your patient’s top!

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  13. Read this one, and Harry, and Mr. Fish, because of Whiskers.

    This one is impossibly hilarious. I was chuckling quietly to myself…. Until I saw your little girl wearing Miss Piggy as a hat.

    Full on guffaw — well done.

    I hope the new kitten lasts a long, long time.

    Liked by 1 person

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