The Debt Whore

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I had my first pelvic exam at MEPS (Military Entrance Processing). I was applying to the US Navy so I could get them to pay for med school. Aquiring a $120,000 debt was a terribly frightening proposition for a girl… as opposed to missile launchers and hand grenades.

Just before, I had stripped down to my underwear in a room with a dozen other women and performed the “duck walk” and other maneuvers as a woman barked orders and scowled at us.

I had always loathed how I looked naked and I worked hard to make sure NO ONE saw me fully unclothed. EVER. Now I had to parade around in front of a room full of other people while only in my skivvies? Hell, I hadn’t even dressed in my good panties! Had I known…

For the pelvic exam I was taken to another room and told I had to strip down completely naked then lie down on a cold, bare metal table.

I had a tiny paper “gown” that was open to the front but it must have been made for a twelve year old because it gaped widely.

Really, what was the point?

My vitals were taken.

“Never done this before, huh?” the female tech said as she raised a single eyebrow.

No. No I have not.

I shrugged, trying my best to appear unruffled.

Then, the physician walked in. He was a stooped over elderly fellow who, I kid you not, was walking with the assistance of a quad cane. He appeared to be in his 80’s. I had not prepared for this.

The exam HURT like hell. When he was done, he had me sit up so he could listen to my heart and lungs.

Who the hell does it in that order?!?!?

As I sat up, all I could think about was the lingering pain from the prior violation and the squilchy feeling of the lubrication between my legs.

“I need for you to take off the gown completely now.”

“What?” I hoped I had not heard him correctly.

“Gown. Off.” He was irritated.

I complied.

His resting hand shook a bit with a pill rolling tremor as the other moved the stethoscope around on my now naked torso. At the time I did not realize that it must have been Parkinson’s disease.

“Nervous?” He raised a single eyebrow.

“Yes,” I whispered.

“Alright. You may dress now.”

And then he was gone, shuffling gait, quad cane, and all.

Two weeks later, I received a call from the recruiter:

Rejected.

Why?

Tachycardia. My heart rate had been running over 100.

That was the end of the Navy…

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59 thoughts on “The Debt Whore

    • I found out later that retired physicians were pretty standard for MEPS. In the end, it was a good thing. No Navy AND I got to experience first hand how a pelvic exam should not be done (that has proved invaluable). πŸ™‚

      Liked by 2 people

  1. Ooo…what a lousy start. Beside manner was obviously not a requirement in the Navy, huh? My first pelvic was by the little old man who delivered my first child. He was about that old and insisted on twilight sleep for the delivery. I have no memory of it. Maybe that’s a good thing???

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  2. There are some exams that should include ice cream or a shot (in a glass), depending on your preference, in place of the sucker at the end of the appointment. Sorry it was such a horrible experience. Though I am sure you have patients who appreciate what your lessons were even if they didn’t know them.

    I hate to say this….but my first and very long time OB/GYN was a young Tom Selleck/Omar Sharif clone. Loved him………………… πŸ™‚ And aside from his low and husky voice and beautiful self, he was gentle and kind.

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    • The other nice thing about pelvic exams is the new guidelines recommending them less frequently. Thank GOD, I say. After years of twlling women they were going to hell if they didnt do their hoo-hah check every single dang year, it is soooooo nice to be able to recommend 3-5 year intervals. Woohoo!

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  3. Oh wow what a post and gosh I hate the coldness of all that for you! How awful! Definitely not a good thing to have a male dr! Not that you got a choice! Wow!
    Thank you for liking my post! I am following you!

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  4. I’ll never forget the guy who glanced up in great irritation in the midst of giving me a pelvic exam:
    I had dared to gasp in pain.
    “This does NOT hurt!” he barked.
    Boy does that sum up a bunch of intersecting social power differentials or what?
    I still wish I’d punched him in the nose.

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  5. Lemme just say this first….You’re a GIRRRLL???? LOL!!!! I am just now able to look around your blog and having read the first paragraph, I said, “what?!!” Nothing wrong with being a girl, of course, but the Victo name made me assume you were a guy, he he…

    I heard it doesn’t hurt much if you relax. I got this idea from my friend because I asked her before how it felt, although I am not sure now if it was just for a pap smear or a full pelvic exam.

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  6. I remember (must’ve been 6 or 7) being taken to a military hospital. (Dad was an Air Firce officer.) For some reason I was left alone in the examining room, and to my horror, in walked some guy with the biggest needle I’d ever seen, who told me “drop your pants so you can’t run away, kid.”

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