Big Butts


Dragonflyzia on my post yesterday “Living In The Shadow” commented, “Pretty… who gets to decides what is or what isn’t?”

I love this simple question.


I was thinking last night that I should probably confess that when I rub my chin thoughtfully during an office visit, it is not because I am trying to look smarter. It is because I just remembered that I forgot to check for whiskers to tweeze the night before. It is impossible to resist the sudden compulsion to make sure none have suddenly erupted and need to be dealt with pronto.

Which brings me to, why do I feel the pressure to do this? Why can’t chin whiskers be beautiful?

Or my patients who want to go through painful procedures to address a few spider veins on their legs so they “can wear shorts again”. Why can’t spider veins be beautiful?

Tanning. My legs are too pasty? That is just a vast conspiracy by the tanning industry to control my mind and body.

Stretch marks should not have to end your bikini wearing days.

And now big butts. NOW they are all of a sudden cute and sexy? Where the hell was that thought during my WHOLE DANG LIFE to this point?!??!? Do you realize how much time and energy I have wasted on self loathing over my “pear shape”? Time that I could have been doing something constructive… like blogging!

Who gets to decide what is pretty and what isn’t?

Really. I want to know.

Whoever you are, I have a very simple message for you:

You suck. Now fix it.


86 thoughts on “Big Butts

  1. Without insecurities, the advertising business wouldn’t exist. Speaking of making women feel bad, I’m sick of seeing seventy-something actors in movies paired up with women young enough to be their great-granddaughters. Case in point, just saw “St. Vincent” with an old grizzly Bill Murray paired romantically with lovely, young Naomi Watts. Good God. Its hard aging as a female in this country.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Yes, the advertising industry (heck, every industry just about) exploits and magnifies our insecurities. I am done with it. Look out beach! This summer I am gonna have my pasty big butt out there in a bikini, stretchmarks and spider veins and all. If you are all lucky, I *might* shave….

      Liked by 2 people

  2. I agree with everything but the chin hairs….they must be plucked immediately! I even carry a pair of tweezers just in case one pops out in the middle of the day…they are evil. This was a really good post, I think we all have issues about our looks….why is a good question.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I think it’s the same people who decide what is fashionable.They do an equally good job in both areas. In my view, “attractive” is a function of the whole package, including what happens in the mind. Forget the butt that somebody might think big. Make me think or make me laugh, and you’re in.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. We do it to each other, I think. It’s a complicated thing…certainly there is pressure from marketeers to conform to a certain look, but I submit that often we put pressure on each other in subtle and not-so-subtle ways. I remember being shocked, really, at the reactions of some of my peers when I made the decision to stop coloring my hair in my early fifties. Some of my friends seemed almost disgusted with me….I remember one saying quite adamantly “That’s the first step towards letting yourself go!” So there is all this pressure on “femmes d’un certain age” to cling to youth no matter what and that pressure often comes from one another. Sad, really. (Oh, there were the cool gals who told me to “rock it, girl.” Let’s not forget them!)

    Liked by 2 people

  5. I’m certain I’ve read somewhere that prehistoric apemen kept an eye out for cave women with big butts because it was a sign of female sexual maturation – ones with more robust butts were healthier and capable of bearing children. So, to women (Kim Kardashian?) with big butts I say thank you for populating Earth, this caveman laid down his club soon after reaching puberty.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Well said. And the truth of the matter is, in real life, no one notices our flaws anywhere near as often as we do. Think of the last time you went to the beach. Were you focused on the stretch marks on the woman next to you or the small calves on the man in front of you? Doubtful. I enjoy watching British movies and TV. They use normal looking actors, at least much more so than we do in the US.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Great post! Somehow along the way I’m afraid we were all taught to give our power away to others. We’ve all been taught that we need others to love us, heal us, protect us, “save” us, and even judge or approve of us.

    The day we finally realize that we are “perfectly imperfect” human beings is the day we start taking that power back. We realize that WE get to make those kinds of decisions ourselves. We can start appreciating ourselves more–chin whiskers, big butts, warts and all! That’s also the day we realize that EVERYONE is beautiful…in his/her own unique and wonderful way. πŸ™‚

    I wrote something about that awhile back myself:

    Appreciating you and your work (chin whiskers and all),


    Liked by 1 person

  8. HqHaHaHaHaHa. That was great. LoL.

    “And now big butts. NOW they are all of a sudden cute and sexy? Where the hell was that thought during my WHOLE DANG LIFE to this point?!??!? Do you realize how much time and energy I have wasted on self loathing over my β€œpear shape”?”

    This is why I say the heck with this recent fascination of big booties, fake ones by the way, as if derrières just started growing in the past four years.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I’m going to go with people like: Kim Kardashian, anyone who “raps,” and probably a few other people whom I can’t think of…
    In all seriousness, though, I wish I really understood what what behind all these “societal” decisions as well…

    Liked by 1 person

  10. same people that pick “sexiest woman/man” alive. its all about what they can or can not sell, the world is full of sheer puppets to them! what ever happened to that big arm trend that michelle obama started- oh has that gone out the window already?! as will this one about curves, i predict it will be skinny ankles next. πŸ˜‰

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Well, I do consider Vogue and Harper Bazaar as my latest plastic surgery journals….. Maybe those fashion magazines have a lot to answer for. Last week I had a rather large woman who came into my clinic with a picture of Elke McPherson. She couldn’t understand when I couldn’t make her body look like Elle’s even thought she’s the same age as her. To get rid of her, I had to say, ‘it’s because you have much heavier bones.’ I am now guilty for bullshitting a patient 😦

    Liked by 2 people

  12. Now I’m going to start noticing when people start rubbing their chins hee hee. I do that too, it’s funny sometimes a long black hair will spring up overnight! I wish we could go back to the days when there’wasn’t so much pressure to look good. I’m still the same person whether I’m wearing make-up or not, skinny or fat. It’s sad.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Yes, they come out of nowhere. It’s like gray hair. One day it’s OK and the next day, it’s all gray! Mind you, since I’ve started using reading glasses, I just take the glasses off and everything is OK. Even the house is cleaner now! Great post!

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Pingback: My Article Read (11-21-2014) | My Daily Musing

  15. A British girl recently died in a Bangkok backstreet operating theatre having buttock enlarging implants fitted.

    This happens all to regularly in the land of smiles driven by people’s desire to be beautiful.

    What a strange world we live in…

    Liked by 1 person

  16. My co-worker is very slim (and in comparison to me, tall) she’s from another country and has naturally dark beautiful hair. Her eyes are large and full of light, she also has a mole near her chin with two hairs that stick out of it. She’s in her 20’s and I know she can see them, I look at her confidence as true beauty. Accept it, embrace it.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Awesome! I have a dear friend who has struggled with her weight and yo-yo dieted all her life (even though she is beautiful and not obese or anything). She’s simply been fooled by society telling her what “true” beauty is. I hope she sees this and realizes that all she has to do to be beautiful is to change her mind.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Yeah! That’s right! I’m re-blogging this on “Loving Me Too.” I think my spider veins look interesting. And stretch marks should be a badge of honor! I wonder if big butts are more comfortable for sitting. There must be some way to study that.

    Liked by 1 person

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