“And my mood was not good from the beginning today when my first consult was for a brain dead baby who was probably abused by the babysitter. Hard to have a good day when a mother thanks you for talking sweetly to her baby when we all know she is already brain dead.”

Remember that just like cops, physicians also see the darkest sides of humanity. We carry it around with us, deep inside. The world does not stop. Not for us, not for them. We have to keep going.

The next consult calls from down the hall….


82 thoughts on “Stop

  1. Ach. 😦

    I love you for sharing not only these moments but your experience of them. I wish I could find a way to articulate why … but it has to do with the world feeling smaller in a we’re-all-connected way.

    Bless you and all those who keep going, keep healing, no matter what.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. That is sad. Something that helped me to cope with some of the ugly in life is the idea that there’s nothing new under the sun. Witnessing too much darkness can be a burden and it starts to feel as if you’re the only one who has to see these things, and it can feel isolating. I take some comfort in the fact that there is nothing new under the sun, that hundreds of thousands of other human beings have stood right where I stand or in even worse places and that what I am experiencing is just a part of the collective human experience.

    I have no idea why this is so reassuring for me, but it does help to prevent me from coming home and unloading all the yuck on hubby, who has actually been out all day harvesting his own horror stories 😉

    Liked by 2 people

  3. And that darkness stays with us, because these are the cases we never forget. They are often as vivid (and painful) to us ten years later as they were when we first saw them. Perhaps that’s good; it maintains our humanity. But it doesn’t make the memories any less painful. I’m so sorry you had to add another one to your memory bank, and my heart goes out to that family.

    Liked by 1 person

      • If/when that point comes to a person they should know that it’s time to take a break from it. You can’t be a compassionate human if you are deadend to the horrors that unfortunetly you come across. I am so thankful that there are people like you in the world, helping people with their pain.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Take heart that you do what you can! That’s all that can be expected of anyone. The suffering in this world will one day be abolished. Technology just needs to catch up with it that’s all. Think back to say the 1690’s… What was medical practice like then? We’re entering an enlightened age. The future will be brighter than most of us can possible imagine right now. It is then, that this darkened form of humanity will be silenced once and for all! You are a healer! Never forget that your job and obligation, is to the living! God will bring the dead back for the resurrection. All will be made well at that time. Meanwhile, your services are the most valued thing we have, for without our health, we pretty much can’t do much of anything… Lets see a smile now :O)

    Liked by 1 person

  5. The wisest man I’ve ever met told me “your job is showing up!” It is not to have the right words – all too often there are none. Our presence is the gift we offer. So thank you, thank you, thank you for a life of showing up!

    Liked by 2 people

  6. My Muse is a therapeutic musician contracted to a hospice. Her preferred time to visit is when the patient is actively dying. People often ask her–as I’m sure they do you–how she can do this, especially when the patient passes while she is there. She responds that it is a privilege to be present and assist at such an intimate moment in life. It is fulfilling for her to help create a graceful transition. For you it has to be fulfilling to create a transition back to restored health–even if the patient is too busy texting to notice. Thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. When human suffering is caused by other humans — and not by illness or accident — that is one of the hardest things to encounter ever. You are making a difference with your compassionate care; that could encourage you.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. I do have an inkling of what you go through. We work “with” CPS. The absolute horrors these folks work with every day…. My admiration doctor. I know it’s not an easy job. I know it’s a huge burden. And those who do it day in and day out have my appreciation. And that baby and family have my prayers.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Pingback: My Article Read (11-22-2014) | My Daily Musing

  10. The ordinary person like me does not realize the horrors you and other medical staff may witness each day. I do not know how you can cope mentally with such a scene, but I admire your sympathetic professionalism. We grieve with that poor mother and we will say a prayer for them and for you. Thank you for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. The saddest thing is that this is all too common. I wish that there was something I could do, that I had become involved when I was young and strong, but now I am old and feeble. We all need to remember to give to those agencies that are on the frontlines, especially this time of year but also year round, I give what little I have to give and wish I had more (fingers crossed that I win Publisher’s Clearing House’s super prize.) I am so thankfull for all those who work in the care proffessions.

    {{hugs}} to you

    Mary ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Clearly not all sitters are horrible creatures, but my wife and I have decided if either of our parents can’t help out from time to time, she feels more comfortable staying home for the first few years full-time, when we have a baby. “I do not feel comfortable leaving our baby with a stranger.” Stories like this one paints such a tragic brush on humanity. Whenever I encounter babies, I see beauty, life, joy, etc. I cannot understand how someone only views violence.

    Liked by 1 person

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