Eggs and Foreskin

We were in Ireland, walking on a wooded path overgrown with pink rhododendrons. It would have been breathtakingly beautiful except that they were an unwanted, invasive species. That knowledge tainted what I was seeing.

The woman I was walking with had been telling me about the death of her daughter on Christmas Eve many years before. It was an incredibly sad story, and I felt terrible for her.

At a loss for what to say, I commented that I was surprised that had occurred so long ago as I would have guessed she was much younger.

“Oh, that’s because of my face cream. It is made from the foreskins of babies.”

Baby foreskins?!???!

Yes, such a thing does exist. Kinda.

As it turns out, apart from the tragedy she had experienced, she was a thoroughly awful person. I disliked her immensely, though I felt obligated to extend certain civilities to her.

For the rest of the trip, however, whenever I saw her face I imagined bloody bits of foreskin smeared all over it. Having conversations with her were pretty darn difficult without the gore creeping into my head.

See, I know what circumcised baby foreskin looks like.

I just never thought of it as a beauty product.

Now, some people have some very visceral feelings about circumcision and foreskin. I am not here to debate that at all. In point of fact, the face cream in question does not have ground up foreskin. It has extracted hormones from cell cultures that have been growing from a single foreskin for decades now. Still creeps me out.

See, I also know what human cell cultures look like.

My point in all of this, however, is how certain knowledge taints our image of things that would be perfectly fine otherwise.

Food, for instance.

Quail eggs specifically.

Quail eggs if you have never seen them are rather small and cream colored with brown speckles. It probably takes 4 to equal a chicken egg. The membranes are quite a bit tougher, too. Scrambled they look identical. They smell the same. The taste? Close enough that I would have a difficult time telling them apart in a taste test. Psychologically, however, they are worlds apart and I cannot eat them if I *know* they are on my plate. The knowledge is what kills them.

Which brings me back around to people.

I want to “love” everyone. I do. Yet there are some people that I have a terribly difficult time with based on a past experience with them or someone close to them. Respect is all I can muster and even that takes great effort.

It probably isn’t fair but it is human nature to distance ones self from what has hurt you in the past. Everything that one of these people does is met with suspicion, no matter what it is. You know what I am talking about… that person who spends Christmas feeding the poor but you try to guess their ulterior motive because you sure as hell know the act was not based on anything altruistic.

You may be waiting for me to say that I am going to work harder this year to avoid making snap judgements, that I will give quail eggs another try, that I will stop imagining bits of foreskin smeared on people’s faces. BUT, that was not my goal here. Nope. I just wanted justify talking about foreskin!


119 thoughts on “Eggs and Foreskin

  1. Wow, this was quick. :::reinstates your Misanthropes Anon. jammies:::


    I see what you did with the photo, too.

    Yes, there is certainly such a thing as too much information. That should be the subtitle for my blog… I’m anticipating my following to decrease as people learn the equivalent of quail foreskins about me.

    I had a patient/client that was just a sweet as could be, until one day she started talking politics and it was ugly. I wanted to shout, “PLEASE STOP TALKING!” I never could relate to her the same after that. Or the 90-yr old woman who looked like everyone’s version of grandma, but held deep south (awful) views on the coloreds.

    Wait… wut? How is a quail egg different from a chicken egg? :::waits on pins and needles::: (ow)

    Liked by 3 people

  2. I gotta hand it to ya’: Your titles are grabbers. Thanks. I really thought it was going to be about phallic symbols when I saw that picture. And “some very visceral feelings about circumcision and foreskin.” Truly a touchy subject. So what is that ugly piece of skin called? prepuce? Who can pronounce that? Foreskin for foreplay? Now we are getting somewhere. (Sorry.) I look forward the next entry: “That Ugly Piece of Skin Attached to a Man’s Penis.” Then use the picture of that beautiful giant sculpture, David by Michelangelo–and that average-sized penis-in-stone. (Did you ever wonder in Humanities 101 about that Jewish boy David NOT being circumcised? It’s a mystery.)

    Liked by 2 people

  3. In 1975 one young lady (she was about 30) suggested to bring me to a porno movie on the 42th street (the street is clear today). I was very surprised. Then I found out that she was a doctor and specialised in the appropriate field.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Yuck! Of course i once took an infertility drug made from menopausal nuns’ urine, so i guess i shouldn’t cast aspersions!

    I used to fight my gut reactions to people. But they are usually right, so mostly i go with them. I don’t if there are racial or ethnic reasons i think might beclouding my judgment, though.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Please don’t work ‘harder this year to avoid making snap judgements’…I’ve met the people you describa and I totally LOVE your blog on life as you see and say it just as it is….That woman…Eww..just well, even more ewwwww’s…Happy New Year, with appreciation, Eily x

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I kind of agree with you on a lot of those issues. Being a doctor you probably have to go with a lot of your gut feelings. You can’t let emotion cloud your judgement. You wouldn’t be there if you didn’t care for your patients.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. You are awesome! Haha! I incr came home from work to find quail eggs in my fridge. I wanted to throw them away, but I didnt want to insult my nanny! A few days later I came home to find the boys gobbling down theae tiny eggs in a stir-fry. The first thing I heard was, “Mommy, can I have more eggs???” I cringed. So gross…

    Liked by 1 person

  8. How does one just casually mention that they’re wearing baby foreskin cream on their face to look younger?

    I feel like a Boromir meme is needed here. “One does not simply throw baby foreskin cream into the conversation.”

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Well you got your justification for your title. I must say I was intrigued to see how they would come together in this post. I had high expectations, you delivered. I knew you would. But now I have horrible images in my head and I hope no one ever uses the phrase “I use face cream” because this is exactly where my mind will go.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. And I would bet your traffic is sky high today with a title like that. LOL And about that face cream … that is a BIG ewwwww from me. That is GROSS. Now, mind you, I do care for my face and yes I um use expensive creams …. my one vice, no two, that and my hair … so, that being said, IF I had a choice to use cream that had you know, cells from foreskin, NOOOOOOO! I wouldn’t be able to get the “pic” out of my head. I am also with you on something … I try to LOVE everyone, but, I do have a choice to a certain point who I allow in my personal Life. And when I do deal with peeps, I no longer do the please them routine, but rather, IF you don’t show me respect, I will be kind to you, but don’t expect me to stick around. (smile) Great post, Doc!!! Love, Amy

    Liked by 1 person

    • I have thought about how far I would go for no wrinkles. Would I use a cream derived from foreskin if it were guaranteed to make wrinkles dissappear? Maybe. I think there is some irony there about women giving birth, kids aging us so much more rapidly (That must be where my scowl lines come from, right?) and the wrinkle cream that supposedly saves our complexions being derived from baby foreskin…


      • Our society encourages woman to look forever young, “frowning” upon a “mature woman’s face”. My face is mature, yet it is well taken care of. I used to get bad attitude from the world in general just because I am no longer young. You know what is better then face cream that reduces wrinkles? An attitude that says I look you square in the eye, smile as if I know a secret, and soften my facial expressions into one of Peace. Gets ‘um every time, and I have gotten more positive reactions then not and respect to boot. Hehehehehehe Yes, I still use the expensive creams. Those creams don’t eliminate my Life Journey on my face, and you know, I like that!!! SMILE!

        Liked by 1 person

  11. This is brilliant. Loved every word and you make some really good points (no pun intended… Ok pun intended). Anyhoo, my wuestion is this : How did you manage to write a post with the word foreskin and not get all the affect that comes along with it? I posted once about circumcision in a fairly neutral way and practically got death threats in my comment thread. Makes me marvel at your gift of semantics… Also, have you ever read The Gift of Fear? It is all about our intuition and how we often forget it.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Yikes! I just had an American Horror Story flashback and I have only watched one episode of “coven” and it was gross when Kathy Bates smeared her face with blood. I guess as Spike (Buffy) says “‘Cause it’s always got to be blood.” Am I missing any other pop culture references? Now I feel the need to go watch a Buffy episode…. I know not where you were going with this, but that’s where my brain went!

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Again with the interesting photo which I almost didn’t notice as I was so captivated by the blog title! Yes, I know what you mean about “some people.” I have a hard time liking Kevins. All must overcome my preconceptions attached to the name.

    Liked by 2 people

  14. A doozie of a post. You really have a gift for getting your readers excited about things that I’d never give a second thought. The comments are/.were as funny as the post. But I have to wonder if there really is a face cream made out of foreskin cells. Interesting to say the least. You can bet that Google is getting a bit crowded with women searching for foreskin face cream that keeps the face as smooth as a baby’s butt. I’ll pass on that one. It does seem un-appealing. I’ll stick with Retin-A.:-)

    Liked by 1 person

    • Google it and you will find it. Apparently Oprah is also a fan. Or so she says. As for if it is more effective than retin A? I doubt there are any head to head trials, but you can bet even if there were, I would still not be rushing out to switch either! πŸ™‚

      Liked by 3 people

  15. Well, now that you’ve opened this can of worms, I have a medical question… I’ve always wondered… IS there like a big barrel they put foreskins in and when it’s full, some medical disposal place comes and takes it away? I always imagine thousands of these things, both from babies as well as old men, shriveled up in this big barrel in the back of the doc’s office waiting to reach the fill line before it can be taken away. (P.S., Yes, I also wonder if the vet has a large barrel of cat and dog testicles waiting for disposal.) πŸ˜‰

    Liked by 1 person

  16. I am always impressed with the level of skill certain writers have when they are able to take a character who very unlikeable and end up making him or her heroic and enduring. That ability to overcome such a strong impression. I have to go rub a baby on my face. Now where did I put that baby?

    Liked by 1 person

  17. agree with you..and it is not just personal experiences..nowadays I find myself doubting many good deeds in society in general (read in news n all) just because I think they might be doing it for publicity …
    and yucks to foreskins in beauty products..I wouldn’t touch them..

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Dear Dr. Dolore, This is a nice post, but I have an ulterior motive in writing to you. As the Exec Ed of Zeteo: The Journal of Interdisciplinary Writing, I’d like to hear more about you, as a writer. If you would, please e-mail me at zeteojournal at gmail. Best, Wm. Eaton, Montaigbakhtinian


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  20. I’m just going to stand up for the lowly prepuce here. There’s nothing eewie about them. Did you know they make excellent wallets, though they take time and skill to stitch. The bonus comes when you rub them and they turn into suitcases.

    Liked by 1 person

  21. This concept of the psychological holding more weight for certain things, such as food…I can relate completely. Traditionally, there are delicacies that are part of my wife’s upbringing, which her family enjoys. On the other hand, you could not pay me enough to try them. In my mind, I see the delicacy, and my mind does not equate define it as something to eat. Instead, my association to the particular delicacy, in its current state, is completely miles away from appearing appetizing. I hope your day is going well.

    Liked by 1 person

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  23. Ha Ha! How funny that you wanted to write about foreskins! Fancy putting that on your face anyway, silly woman. I am with you on the quail’s eggs. My husband bought duck eggs for me once and i just couldn’t eat them. I think it was the colour of the shell that put me off!

    Liked by 1 person

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  25. Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuwwww.


    Funny post, despite (or possibly due to) the grossness.

    There should be several thousands words for love as there are at least that many different kinds. I love my big fluffy socks after they have been on the radiator for half an hour, I also love my sister. In a different way though (depending upon how cold it is) *laughs*.

    – s.u.t.Cloud

    Liked by 1 person

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