The Beautifulest Pony

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“Who wants to marry the prince?” my son asked.

“I do! I do!” my daughter’s ponies clamored.

“Only the beautifulest pony will be allowed to marry the prince!”

He and my daughter lined them up and discussed the merits of each.

This one was a nice shade of pink.

That one had nice hair.

The clencher was the one with the long eyelashes. She got to marry the prince and there was much celebration throughout the kingdom.

Who taught them this kind of judgement? I have never remarked about eyelashes. Or have I? Hair? Maybe. Talk about beauty? Yep. Quite a bit.

When my daughter was a toddler a physician friend looked at a picture that I took of her and said, “Ooooh. She has a bit of frontal bossing doesn’t she? Don’t worry. Maybe she will grow out of it.” I just about clawed her eyes out. Instead I smiled back and agreed.

Sometimes we don’t hear ourselves. We don’t realize what we are saying.

Our children sure do, though.

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95 thoughts on “The Beautifulest Pony

  1. Last night I went to pick up my daughter to bring her to pick up her car from the shop. She exclaimed, “Johnnie’s not here yet, so I have to to take these friggin kids!” I know she was frustrated that things had not gone as planned. But I was sad for what the kids heard. I said, “Hush, mama, grandmother is glad to have them ride along.”

    Liked by 1 person

  2. As a child I had a prominent forehead and an even more prominent jaw. My father always answered that Einstein was never a beauty but he changed the world. Now those people can’t stand me when they hear what I’ve accomplished in life so far hahahaha 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  3. A mother’s reaction to any critque of her young comes with a pretty primal response. Mother Bear. Rooooar!

    Kids are so sensitive to clues from the world around them Victo, it is almost impossible to determine whre any particular response comes from. i have two that are grown now and I can assure you that questions of where their infomation comes from, become even more numerous as the years go on. After a while it becomes a lost cause to rty to figure out. It’s like emptying our the vacuum cleaner bag and wondering where that penny came from. Ha!

    Liked by 3 people

    • This happened to me recently!

      To say that my dog is obsessed with food would be an understatement! One day, as I was taking my dinner from the kitchen to the dining table, she jumped up to see /smell my food and almost knocked it out of my hands. In my surprise and frustration I exclaimed, “Dammit you freaking dog!”

      Well my daughter was sitting at the table and heard everything, to my horror! THEN a few days later, while playing with the dog, she couldn’t get her to sit still so she exclaimed, “sit still you damn freaking dog! ”

      I wanted to laugh, but in all honesty, IT WASN’T FUNNY. I was so ashamed. I just hope she doesn’t say it at school.

      Liked by 2 people

  4. After my now 7-month-old baby girl was born, she had a few strawberry patches on her face (they said something about the capillaries or whatever and that she would grow out of it). Quite a few people tried to “console” me and say that she was still pretty despite those small marks. Sigh.

    Liked by 3 people

  5. Yeah, experience talking right here – I made the huge mistake of referring to my middle daughter as “the child from hell” in jest (really, in jest) and it came true. Not completely her fault since Mom set the bar to strive for wouldn’t you say? Sigh.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. My father made a unpleasant comment about our younger daughter’s eyes, many years ago. I took it like a blow to the gut. It wasn’t true, it was a mindless comment that probably slipped out. I realize that now. But he was wrong!
    Leslie

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  7. “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.” Philippians 4:8

    I think ponies with long lashes are lovely, too. Beauty makes us feel good.

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      • I was sort of joking, but kids have to be taught to see that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. We have to go against biology on this one. Aren’t men more attracted to fertile-looking women and women more towards men with stronger jaws?

        Kids haven’t bought into the deeper beauty of character or wisdom. They like pretty ponies.

        My young son once ran away from a man in a wheelchair suffering from hydrocephalus crying, “The monster is coming for me!” No amount of convincing allayed my son’s fears. It was sad and mortifying.

        Liked by 1 person

      • It is true children have to be taught to defy biological programming. Truthfully that was not something I had fully realized until this. Embarrassing, I know. (I knew from prior comments and your own posts that you were joking so no worries!)

        Liked by 1 person

  8. My four year old said he was going to pick his own clothes the other day… He was going to look “sexy.” I have no idea where he got that from!
    I think we have to use these moments as an opportunity to teach our children about the realities of judgement, criticism, and tolerance in our society. Regardless of where it comes from, they will get it. Even if we (parents) are the source, we are human too and we can use it as way to teach our kids about humanity.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. I think the eyelashes have it for me too because they frame the eye and focus our sight on the eye and in the eye we see the person. That is why some people we meet who are blind seem to us to be less interesting that when we start talking to them and we can see the person through their words.

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  10. When I was around 5, my dad told me that a high forehead was a sign of intelligence. I don’t know if he said that because I had “frontal bossing” back then, or if it was because his hairline was receding. I believed him for the longest time.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Pingback: My Article Read (1-28-2015) | My Daily Musing

  12. Children are like sponges; even if you don’t speak about it, they absorb so much. My mother had weight issues and hated herself for it. I grew up diet and exercise- obsessed. My daughter picked up on it, even though I was careful to never address the issue. Neither she, nor I, ever had a weight issue, but we often behave as if we do. Messages.

    p.s. I’d go with the big head = big brain theory. ☺

    Liked by 1 person

  13. My kids and grandkids all had frontal bossing. It just means there’s whole lot of smarts up there. 🙂

    The doctor’s comment brought to mind an early episode from “Roseanne” where the youngest daughter’s teacher called Roseanne in for a parent/teacher conference because Darlene has been barking in class:

    Ms. Crane: “Your daughter barks.”

    Roseanne: “Our whole family barks.”

    Liked by 1 person

  14. When I was a teenager, I worked at a daycare, and a boy in my class had a large port wine birthmark across half his face. It always amazed me how many kids never noticed, but how many other parents would comment. One day Bradley’s mother was picking him up with another mom asked about it, and as the other mom asked, a bunch of kids gathered around as if they were noticing it only for the first time. Bradley’s mom kept her composure, smiled, and looked at all the kids. In a strong voice, she replied, “That’s where God touched Bradley and said, ‘There, you’re special.'” The kids all then wanted the same birthmark, and the mother who asked about it was mortified!

    As for your kids, I don’t think this means they were being judgmental… Beauty is in the eye of the beholder… Perhaps they are just attracted to the specialness of long eyelashes. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

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