The Annointing

Statue in a church in Paris

The fascinating Rachel Carrera did a post a while back about furniture trashing at her photography studio. It got me thinking about my own lobby…

We use upholstered seating at my office. They are “nicer”. Softer. Classier. Homier. If there is anything you need from a doctor’s office, it is for that office to be as comfortable as possible, right? So we do that for you. We spring for the expensive upholstered furniture so maybe you can forget what suffering you might soon endure.

Body fluids, though….

Puke.

Pee.

Diarrhea.

Blood.

It has all ended up on the upholstery at some point. 

It seeps in, making it terribly difficult and expensive to clean up. We don’t make a big deal out of it, though. No one bleeds, poops, pees, or pukes on upholstered furniture unless something is terribly wrong. We quietly remove the item to the back room and when we get enough stacked up, we call the cleaners and then reenter them into circulation.

Then there are kids.

Kids like to draw.

They like to draw on things they should not draw on, like upholstered furniture.

They also like juice. They really like the color and pattern of juice on my upholstery.

Kids are unpredictable. Sometimes they put boogers on the chairs. Sometimes they are very, very big and juicy boogers. Hell, some adults put boogers on my chairs, too. Gum. Sticky purple fingers from post immunization lollie-pops. Stickers. I could go on.

From time to time, there is just no hope for a piece of furniture and we have to purchase replacements. Those are never the same style or pattern and they stick out like a sore thumb unless we spring for the cost of reupholstering the whole dang lot.

So next time you are settling down comfortably in a nice upholstered seat at the hospital or doctor’s office, try not think about what has gone before…

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125 thoughts on “The Annointing

  1. Oh Yuck how revolting! I am no stranger to puke, blood, poo and God knows what else, but strangely don’t think about it when I go to see the doctor. Mind you at our surgery, they tend to have those ‘leatherette’ (plastic) chairs that are easily wiped clean)!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. “The doctor will be with you in a moment,” the receptionist at the doctor’s office said. “Why don’t you have a seat in the waiting room and we’ll call you when the doctor can see you.”

    From now on, after reading your post, I think my response will be, “That’s okay, I’ll stand in the corner until the doctor is ready.”

    Liked by 2 people

  3. It’s like being told not to think about pink elephants. Thankfully I’m not squeamish and know that a chair that gets cleaned after an incident is better than one that never has an incident.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Sorry about your furniture. When replacements are necessary, maybe consider vinyl. It’s easy to clean, and very retro. Also, buy used off craigslist. Cheaper, no taxes to pay and retro (did I mention I like retro?)

    Fondly,
    Elizabeth

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Because I know what goes on and in upholstery and because I go in to people’s home and see what people sit in in their own homes before they take it out in to the public….I prefer to have a hard plastic or wood chair in public to sit on if I have to sit at all. They can be easily cleaned. Or I’ll stand.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Wow! Two days in a row. You hit the jack pot with another “interesting” topic. For starters, if anyone is queasy abpout sitting in your kind of classy chair, just bring a wad of newspaper and place it on the chair. As you stand up, grab it all by the corners and drop it into the trash can/s.

    My MD uses what appears to be real leather or maybe it’s fake and the chairs have seams that are under the seat. The waiting room is airy and spacious. I think this group of MDs had input or maybe the designer simply was germ conscious. I always sit in a far corner away from everyone else and then hide my face behind a newpaper as I read and hopefully maybe avoid some germs. And, yes bring your own sanitary wipes. My MD and associates have bottles for cleaning one’s hands. The bottles are all over the clinic from the sign in place to the exam rooms.

    The bottom line 🙂 is to be careful how and where you sit and always wash your hands. And don’t don’t touch your face with unwashed hands. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  7. My family Dr. had real leather furniture in the 60’s…makes me wonder how they kept it clean. On the other hand, if we were exposed to more germs at the time; maybe we developed better immune systems ? Our hand sanitizer obsession seems to be backfiring. There was a recent study that claims that hand washing your dishes, instead of dishwasher sanitizing, is beneficial exposure to some less harmful bacteria, spiking our immunities. Not sure, but food for thought.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I have to stop reading your posts when I am eating.
    At least you have control of your environment. Our staff have all sorts of fun especially recently: TB, scabies and my favorite…bed bugs. My Lead preceptor had me do an inspection on her once because she thought she had been bit while putting in a catheter….once I got over the idea of leaning on some one’s filthy dirty bed to do an insertion of that kind….(gag) I cannot imagine bugs crawling on you, too. Oh there are so many reasons why I am not a nurse……

    Liked by 1 person

  9. PS…when are you going to do a post on flatulence…. its like your leading up to it…. I will have to make sure to be done with dinner as I will laugh my arse off I am sure. One of my favorite funny bones is anything to do with human gas. So mature 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I visited my doctor this afternoon and admired—and sat in, and laid my clothes on—the green upholstered chair in the exam room. Had I read this post before the appointment, I might have made different choices.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. That’s why I always try to find a non-upholstered chair. Seriously, upholstery grosses me out. I don’t even like fabric upholstered items in my home. Don’t get me started on carpet…..

    Liked by 1 person

  12. I thought someone would have mentioned this already, but since I didn’t see it after reading through the comments (which are very funny BTW)–why can’t you just put a roll of paper on the back of each chair and hang a sign prominently that asks each patient to please pull off the old as they get up leaving a nice new clean and oh so comfy paper covered chair for the next patient–just like in the exam room.

    Liked by 2 people

  13. Oh no! From now on I’m either standing or wearing a plastic suit!

    My friend used to work in a clothing store, she warned to always wash new clothes after I buy them before I wear them. Ugh disgusting what people will do.

    Liked by 1 person

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  16. When you get down to the molecular level Victo, everything is mixed up with everything else. We are squeamish but our bodies are designed to endure this environment. There are no real absolutes in this world. I saw the calculations once that showed that every time we take a breathe of air , we breathe in 3 molecules of air that were breathed by Napoleon. There’s fecal matter everywhere (in minute quantities), there are millions of little bugs that eat our dead skin cells in our bedding and on us None of this bothers us unless it becomes too concentrated. We talk about nuclear radiation being destructive to humans and life, but there is a background of radiation everywhere and passing through us continually. In fact that radiation may very well have a part in evolution by introducing gene variations. My understanding is that only about 10% of the cells that make up a human actually have human DNA. The rest are bacteria, viruses, and other biological material that are not “human” per se but are critical to our survival . Mind you human cells are huge compared to some other biologics,, so we are about 90% human by weight, but not by numbers.

    We really don’t easily grasp just how much everything is mixed together. We think of ourselves as unique and self-contained – but we are a part of everything and everything is a part of us. .I am speaking from a purely physical perspective here, although a similar philosophical argument can be made.

    Anyway, you just need to find a material for your waiting room that is both santizable and appears of high quality. There are gazillions of fabrics out there, I’m sure if you made it a mission, you could likely get something that fits your requirements, keeps your patients happy and healthy. It may be expensive but when you look at your cleaning and replacement costs – it is likely affordable. You could even offer the problem to a fabric manufacturer with the knowledge that there would be a large ,market for whoever developed such a fabric commercially.

    Interesting post Victo- as usual.

    Liked by 1 person

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