The school district just closed. Are we closing the clinic? A text from my office manager the night before.
As I pondered my answer, I was calculating in my head the lost revenue from three physicians being out yet again. We have staff to pay and a lease to cover, for crying out loud.
Ah, yes. Oddly, we had snow again and the kids are now enjoying their fourth snow day of the past two weeks. Weird weather.
“Mommy, winter is my favorite season!” my son gushes as he smacks me in the head with a powdery projectile.
I can’t blame him. I remember those rare snow days I had as a kid.
My daughter is standing at a safe distance giggling as a snowball explodes at my chest.
I wrestle mightily, though:
There is guilt that I carry for not being there for patients.
Not that they would drive in this. Actually, I bet a lot of them probably would… Even if they shouldn’t.
I tell myself that I want to model hard work in the face of adversity for my kids. It makes me feel better for having guilt about not being there for the patients, but the reality is that I don’t have a sitter when school is out like this and they are just not at the age they could hang at the clinic without being a major disruption.
The guilt keeps me from enjoying my time off.
Secretly, I want to be home with my kiddos, though I would not say that outright to patients necessarily. I want to show the kids that they are more important to mommy than the sick people that take me away from them so often. They are my kids!
I want to teach them to take care of themselves and show them that life can be spontaneous and fun, to not trap themselves within other’s expectations all of the time.
Another snowball whizzes past my ear. I realize that it is time to focus on what is important… survival!
Photo: The Swiss Alps