Every single dang time I go to pull out my credit card to pay for something I have heart palpitations. Panic.

My card is missing! Oh, lord. No, wait. Here it is. Whew…

There is something inherently wrong within my being that always expects the worst, the proverbial anvil hanging over my head, ready to crush my skull and my spirit at any moment. 

Sure wish I could fix that. 


111 thoughts on “Unhinged

  1. In the future we will have microchips inserted into us and all information will be accesible through this platform and nothing could be lost or stolen. People in 50 years will see the actual plastic cards we used as strange and cumbersome.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. You could make a fortune training people how to be afraid of their credit cards. You could solve most if the personal debt issues in America Victo and make the US economy the powerhouse it was designed to be. Ha! “Always look on the bright side of life”

    Liked by 3 people

  3. The terrible feeling of being dependent on a payment card with built-in chip has led me to a certain state of mind.

    I buy what I need when I can afford it. Once bought I have enough. Additionally when I need a mental break that glass of wine or espresso doppio macchiato is not something to regret. The smaller enjoyments of life are to be enjoyed.

    I am already OCD enough…

    Liked by 2 people

  4. I do the same thing. Anything stored in my handbag is regularly potentially missing. So far, so good, but it doesn’t change that panicked feeling. I also check that I have my keys WAY TOO MANY TIMES before leaving my parked vehicle locked. Better safe than sorry. :/

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Victo, love that door! Unhinged perfect! Practical solution for always knowing where that credit card is. It’s in the style of wallet. Find one that has a zipper side for cash and a little pocket for insurance card, etc. Other side has a snap shut section. When opened it has space for 5 credit type cards and another little insert pocket. 6 inches long and 3 1/2 inches wide (Brighton Store). Seriously, this type of wallet has calmed my OC brain down! Open the snap shut section and all those little cards are there. Use one and put it right back in its slot! Happy Me! Christine

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Hey Victo,

    This is an interesting, rhetorical question to pose. I to seem to share your mind’s over-cautious predicament and often find myself with similar thoughts when purchasing items. I put it down to mindfulness exerting a hold on the activity in hand and accept it as an opportunity to consider whether the purchase is really necessary. But of course if the card is already lost then the decision is definite and the god’s have decided for me! The thought of a lost credit card does however turn the stomach a little.

    Strangely, I lost my wallet recently on a train journey en route home from the office. Naturally it was pay-day and my wallet lined a little for an hour of so before the bills were paid. Arriving at the homeward station and needing my tickets I went in search of my wallet and to my dismay found it gone. It is indeed a sick feeling that hits you when stopping to consider the possibilities of having a bank account cleaned out…after-all, that is the worst case scenario and the most prominent thought. And that low feeling prevailed and grew to become more than just a sense of helplessness when I thought about the other items that were also contained in the wallet and which were now lost as well: family stuff, telephone numbers, contacts names, stamps, membership cards, personal identification, tickets, passes, receipts, cheques…in fact the list is almost endless. And whilst most items were replaceable after investing significant effort in informing everyone and restoring order, the most personal items, those with sentimental value, were gone forever. And that is saddening: some items, photographs for example, were indeed a loss that could never be replaced.

    However, despite the sentimental and practical disruption caused by the loss of my wallet, I did have one (small) curious thought about the experience that surprised me a little. And it was that I felt an intriguing sense of release, a letting go of the associations I had formed with this item, which had been in my possession for many years…the memories, the attachments, the experiences, the purchases, the places I had visited, the jobs I had been paid for…the sense of self that I’d distilled into the ownership of this one personal item…all of these things were momentarily displaced from me and pushed into pockets of trousers belonging suddenly in my immediate past (or more precisely, pushed into pockets of trousers belonging to somebody else living in the immediate present!) But either way, the loss of an aspect of my ‘identity’ found me touching momentarily upon a sense of personal freedom that was almost liberating. I may not have been able to go anywhere or do anything, but it was because I now had fewer choices and fewer options available to me that a sense of peaceful detachment, nay isolation, enveloped me and I felt unburdened. Empowered: almost as if I had stepped out from the fabric of life, stepped off the proverbial grid, and all but disappeared into the remaining sunlight of a spring evening. It was inspiring. A feeling perhaps similar to putting down heavy bags of shopping and standing taller with arms that seem to want to float upwards by themselves and somehow leave your whole body weirdly buoyant and weightless and energised… And so it was with a wonderful feeling of reinforced calm that I headed for home, taking the regular 10 minute route through the shopping precinct as a shortcut. These vibrant stores and retail outlets with their fresh shiny wares were places I could no longer afford to shop in, but they were also places where I didn’t have to fabricate any sort of justification for making a needless purchase either, and that in itself was delightfully satisfying… Sitting down to dinner that evening with a steaming plate of canned ravioli and garlic toast…items gratefully already in the larder…became a veritable banquet not to be missed (actually, it was that or nothing!) and an education I think in acceptance of the value and worth to be found in simplicity. It is a virtue that feels sometimes missing from busy lives.

    Thanks for your thoughtful post.


    DN – 21/04/2015

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Just as well we don’t live together. I lose mine about twice a week, and rarely fret about it. If my friend hears she can’t relax until I find it, and freaks if I make little effort. I rarely tell you know who.
    So far, I’ve been lucky. Hope it never runs out.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Negativity Bias at work…and yes, you learned some of it from you parents, and the rest is part of the reptilian brain. Just being human. I think we all have little things that set us off. Some of us have a lot of things that set us off. I do the same thing with my cards. They slip down into their holders and I cannot see them. PANIC….and then I laugh.
    I had my big credit card hacked. Fortunately, the bank caught it pretty quick. I have had the card for a very long time, like 30 years and they were question me buying McDonalds on it. Greta service, but I felt totally violated and was crying like an idiot on the phone with the lady.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I’m diagnosed with OCD and sometimes I can see why. There are some frightening moments of panic, too. I HAVE lost things. Right now, it’s always my cell phone. Frustrating because I now have no land line to call it.
    Breathe deep πŸ˜‰
    You are not in this boat alone….

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I wish you could fix it too. Did you ever try positive affirmations? I am pretty sure that Louise Hays has products. They do help. I just read an article about a family that did an experiment with apples. I will look for the link.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. I read an article once that said worrying is a survival mechanism, and from an evolutionary perspective, it’s a good thing. I check the stove at least 4 times before I leave the house. I have not worried much about losing my credit card. Until now. But I’d rather imagine the interesting things behind that fascinating door.

    Liked by 1 person

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  13. Yep, learned it from mom too. The crucial part I think, is never having been taught *coping* skills for such moments. When I think my purse, my debit card, my keys, or anything important is missing, I feel sick. My mind goes to all the potential inconvenience it could cause. Identity theft alone sounds like a nightmare.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Your reaction is actually a good one because you are cautious, observant and anticipate potential problems. The panic you feel is a warning, a defense mechanism. That’s a good thing. Really. It has nothing to do with “bright side” or positive thinking. Identity theft is a huge deal, just like an angry bear coming toward you would be a huge deal. Would you rather just stand there and say, “Oh well, maybe I won’t lose too much blood. I’ll look on the bright side.” I think not. From everything I read on this blog, you’re very quick on your feet. You have to be in your job. So, unless I’m missing something, stop being so hard on yourself, Stuart Smalley.

    Liked by 2 people

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