A number of years ago a patient that I had been seeing for about five years decided to change to a different primary care physician. No warning. Just gone. Poof! I stumbled upon it when a refill request was sent to me and I found she was seeing another physician in the system at another clinic.
I tried to shrug it off but truthfully, it ate at me for days. What did I do to upset her? I had bent over backwards to meet her demands. I had spent tons of extra time trying to walk her through some challenging and scary times.
What did I do wrong?
Then one day, a few months later, she called wanting me to review her chart and comment on the care she was receiving with the other physician, to tell her if they were doing the right thing, without coming in to discuss it with me or reestablishing with me as her physician.
I told her I was not going to do something like that.
Her response was to cuss me out and call me a quack.
After that, I was glad to be rid of her.
It wasn’t me that was the problem, after all.
Now, four years later, she is wanting to come in to reestablish with me. There she is on my schedule. I don’t want her there, though. I want her to just go away. I can live without the validation of having her come back.
I find it very hard to leave that hurt behind but I feel also like I need to see her to prove to myself that I can, that I am above all of that.
Pride sure is an awful thing.