Free Time 

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Today I am not at work.

Instead I am at home.

I spent a couple of hours working on charts this morning.

Then I ran errands: New pants for my son. A gift for my daughter to take to a birthday party tomorrow. A bottle of good Pino Grigio.

When I got home I walked past the computer on the dining room table, resisting the urge to log on again. 

Fuck it!

Surely they will be fine without me. 

Surely?

I walked past the computer, then doubled back to close it up and hide it in the study. Out of sight, maybe out of mind perhaps?

Now I have a chilled glass of wine in my hand. Yes, it is before noon. No, I do not make this a habit. Hopefully it will assuage the guilt of taking a day off…

Dishes. Laundry. Clean the bathrooms. Write. Take a nap. Go for a walk. 

It feels so foreign.

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112 thoughts on “Free Time 

  1. I hate to tell you this Victo but the rule for drinking and writing is that you cannot drink before your readers’ noon – not yours. Since I am in Eastern Canada it is 12:44 pm here, so you are behind in ]your drinking by 44 minutes. Oh, and that is rule #2 – you are required to make up that 44 minutes that you are past the start time by starting at least 44 minutes BEFORE NOON next time. Rule #3 is that this missed time is cumulative, so if you, by chance don’t start until 1pm tomorrow, then you have to start 1hr and 44 minutes prior to noon the following day. And so on. 😀

    Enjoy Victo, you deserve it!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Reblogged this on Niki.V.all.ways.My.way. and commented:
    welcome to my world. everyday, gotta think of things to do and do things that need to be done and …. forget that anyone needs me whatsoever except for my daughter. #fuqafukushima, the NRC surely will figure out its a bad idea to keep a nuclear power plant open on an active earthquake fault, right?! enjoy your day. the wine, great idea (yet, i’m only on my second cup of coffee, so i’ll join you a bit later on that!).

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  3. Sounds like you are describing my entire future…Tomorrow is my last day in practice. I don’t when,if ever, I’ll treat another patient again. What about the people I’ve been treating for years on end? The Glaucoma cases, recurrent uveitis patients, DED cases, VKC, corneal degenerations.. the list goes on….

    Liked by 1 person

      • Your office manager should be told by you that “my day off is my day off and I am hanging up now.”
        Deal with it tomorrow. It will still be there. BTW, I used to work as a nurse, and take all my patients home with me, but I learned to leave them at work by taking off my badge when I got in the car to leave work. No longer Nurse Nancy. Now as a psychologist, I don’the have a badge, but I use the drive home to rehash the day, then mentally put it aside. Try it, it works.
        Enjoy your day. And in the future, plan a ME Day, a spa day; let your husband MI do the kids. We do deserve time off to be lazy!

        Liked by 1 person

      • As it turns out, the drive home used to be a great time for reflection and decompression. Now, however, I am refereeing a five year and four year old on the 30 minute drive. 😉

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  4. I was not going to write you because I know you will be determined to respond. I am waiting for the day you actually don’t post anything….I will miss you, and worry if you are alright, but I will also feel great for you because you actually took a complete break.
    We keep going until we drop and are either sick or sick of it.
    I find lately that when I stop to take a moment for myself, I fall asleep. That is a true indicator I am hitting it too hard. (Already have a CPAP) 🙂
    May your Ferris Bueller day be blessed with small moments of peace and calm.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Big day for me too. First day of retirement : Spoke at Med School Hooding, got 3 job offers and was asked 10 times – “what are you going to do now?” Doctors clearly don’t know how to relax but I’ll keep you posted as I figure it out. Drinking before noon, there’s the hidden social hx. ha ha
    Tracey

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Hmm? A day off? Problem with having a day off – at least in my house, is you think of all these wonderful things you are going to do all by yourself, then you walk past the laundry room and think, well I will just do one load, before you know it your day off has come to an end and you have done nothing for yourself. At least you had a glass of wine before you hit the chores. I hope you did ACTUALLY relax, even just for a little.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. It sounds to me that it is probably about time you took a “Mental Health Day”. At least that is what it is called down under. And even if you used the time to do a load of washing you will feel better for it. There are only two problems with taking a day off. 1. When you ket to work tomorrow they all tell you that there was a catastrophe that really needed your input. or 2 Nobody noticed you were gone.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Don’t scratch the technology itch! i have no problem leaving my phone/tablet away for hours while I do some gardening or go outside to experience the warm weather 🙂 once you let go, it becomes easier to do it more often. I was once hooked in, but a few hurricanes and loss of power for weeks on end, i’ve grown to live without it.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Pingback: My Article Read (5-16-2015) | My Daily Musing

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