My mother has been steadfastly opposed to mammograms since the beginning of time. Not because she thinks they are useless. Or dangerous. Or because the guidelines are changing. She has refused to get one because I told her to get one.
So, I think about this with my own daughter.
She is absolutely going to roll her eyes over how stubborn I am. She will tell everyone who will listen how I ruined her life or at least how I make it sooooo much more difficult for her. And I imagine, right or wrong, that I will be proud of that fact on some level.
Are we meant to have perfect lives and perfect relationships with our parents? I have maintained that anyone who says that they do is either lying or delusional. We have to be screwed up by our parents to some degree. It makes us interesting.
Which gives some new perspective into my own mother’s crazy decisions. She is loony as hell and that’s OK because it is supposed to be that way.
I thought I would repost this from last year as a follow up to my post yesterday. I think about the things my mother said and did and how they affected me and I worry about my effect on my own daughter quite a bit. Truth is, I cannot be perfect. I cannot save her from all trauma at my own hands. But I can make sure she knows that I love her above all else and pray everything else sorts itself out like it did for me.