Escape Fantasy


Early release day. Last day of school.

I hate these days. 

I wish I could pick the kiddos up early, do something fun to celebrate. Instead I am stuck at the clinic, seeing patients with a staff that drives me INSANE.  

“Doc, your numbers were down this month, but I see you took a day off…” Cue raised, disapproving eyebrows throughout the room. I throw the stack of financials at them all, watching the papers slide across the table then onto their laps, and scream, “You know what? I am NOT your bitch!” And then I storm out.

It will be a struggle forever. Some days are better than others. Ask me next week and I will be upbeat again.

Today is a bad day.

The photo. Not my house but I sure wish it were. Wouldn’t that be a fun setting for an attic adventure?


108 thoughts on “Escape Fantasy

  1. “It will be a struggle forever. Some days are better than others. Ask me next week and I will be upbeat again.” – This is actually a good place to be, knowing that it’s all a cycle, a never-ending loop of good-bad-good-bad…

    That doesn’t make being in the bad any more appealing though. But I gotta say, I gave you a fist bump when those wide-eyed colleagues of yours scrambled to pick up the papers.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Ya know what your words reminded me of? Having long been ‘the staff member’ rather than the supervisor or senior professional, it is so easy to make assumptions that those higher up in position and with greater monetary advantage are somehow not human. I have been guilty of turning to selfish assumptions that my senior colleagues have it sooo well. Thank you for this post. Many of those people, just like yourself, don’t/didn’t deserve my attitude. I apologize for all of us and hope you can have some peace knowing the cycle will head up to better days soon.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Ah yes, the joys of being stuck at work while your kids get out early. Some physician jobs have more flexibility, but in primary care where the schedule is often determined days (sometimes weeks) in advance, stepping out for a few hours is rarely an option. But I don’t think I need to tell you that…

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I so relate to this. As a social worker I often find myself resenting going to work to care for others kids when I’d really just like to be with my own. Plus the criticism on productivity. Ugh. Hugs!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. When I came to Ballarat to live about 25 years ago I started going to a Doctor who worked with four others in the worst of the suburbs. About 8 years ago he started talking to me about wanting to write poetry and books and two weeks later he told me he had taken all his poetry out to the incinerator and burned the lot. That was the start of a breakdown. He resigned and I saw him a couple of times just walking around the street – his hair long, his beard unkempt. Then I heard that he had gone back to working part time volunteering at the Aboriginal Centre. And now he is happy, according to my current Doc who was one of his partners. Sometimes things get worse before they get better. I’m sending you a postcard.

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  6. If it is any consolation there is this expression that can be used cynically, sarcastically, ironically and optimistically.

    “What does not not kill you makes you stronger…” Choose a character from a film, series or story that you like from the Terminator to Xena the princess warrior and think about that phrase in a tough accent as if you have your “Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker” moment.

    I like Jules from Pulp Fiction. “Say what again!” still brings a grin to my face. Otherwise Billy Connolly’s “Oh fuck it!” tends to work for me. It is a small highlight on dreary days…

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  7. It’s just sad that it has to be all about the “numbers.” =( Shouldn’t it be more about the compassion and service we provide to each patient? If it is 5 patients…well, that should be good enough, shouldn’t it?!? Being new to the inpatient hospital setting, I’ve allready been reminded several times to make sure I fulfill my face to face required hours each week and that is a little frustrating…I just want to make a difference in each life I see….not worry about hours…Also, I kind of want to create a brand new blog so I can vent more like this! (I’ve been told by a couple of family members that they think my last blog post wasn’t a good idea)

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I have the same issue where I work with “productivity” measure in direct billable hours. I haven’t thrown papers yet, but it is a lovely fantasy. And the house IS fascinating. I love all the levels (possibilities) and the roundish windows at the top. Always wanted a round window.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. So sorry. I HATE days like that. I’m taking off Tuesday for my sons awards ceremony during the day. Seriously? Such a fuss over me taking off? When I’m there I’m not treated as if I’m important so why now? Good luck sweet Doc😞🚜

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Take care. I had a day like that last week. I went to Sydney to see the gastroenterologist and halfway there, realised I’d forgotten to leave a key for their carer and my mobile phone was flat. I was able to ring the agency and they were going to the park after school. Good thinking 99. But…
    Then I was waiting an hour for the doctor, not unusual but I thought I’d better check at the desk. Turns out they hadn’t let the intern know I was there. I wait another 30 minutes before I am seen and my appt lasts about 15 minutes. By this stage, it’s getting dark and I’m starting to worry about the kids in the dark at the park. Then when I reach the station, there’s an announcement that there’s been a fatality on the tracks. Delay. My husband and I ended up on the same train and arrive back at 6.00. It;s pitch black. and the carer and us are driving in between home and the park because the agency hasn’t passed on any of our numbers. Well done! Didn’t have a drink after all of that but sure felt like one!!
    By the way, I saw Dr Norman Doidge, the neuroplasticity guru at the Sydney Writer’s Festival and wrote a blurb you’d find interesting xx Rowena

    Liked by 1 person

      • So many people struggle with empathy. I sometimes wonder whether “the system” forgets that patients are people. Treatments aren’t available on weekends, for example, which makes it difficult for people to work and to manage child care.


  11. Ugh… I feel your frustration. The ‘financial staff’ (or whatever i should call them [no doubt you have a few choice names in your mind] ) … it’s such arrogance. They wouldn’t have a job at all without the doctors. Neither would the medical assistants! They should be treating you like a star, complete with dressing room and powder puff. But the worst thing is the disrespect inherent in their attitude — and that’s where i relate and commiserate. My job doesn’t create employment for anyone else, but that’s beside the point. Sending huge hugs. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    • It has been a shift from everyone working for the doctors to the doctors working for everyone else. I don’t need to be a rock star per se, but I am most certainly not there to be a slave to their dollar signs…

      Liked by 1 person

  12. Throwing sheaves of papers at people is hugely satisfying. I’ve done that and more. Unfortunately, I inherited my mother’s penchant for swiping food off the dinner table. I’ve managed to beat that demon in recent years, though, as it solves nothing and guess who ends up having to clear up the mess!

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  13. It is hard being a working Mum. Take heart we all go through it ! I remember asking a boss could I leave early as I had to pick the boys up from nursery ( I only had two boys then and they both suffered badly from asthma) and take them to the local hospital for treatment. He said , ” If you want to work , work, if you want to look after your children stay home like my wife” The shit did not let me take time off so I was late for the appointment , but I never forgot the boss . 39 yrs on I still can see him!! Yes that house is open to all sorts of ideas. xxxxxx

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  14. Pingback: My Article Read (5-23-2015) | My Daily Musing

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