The Holy Grail


I know that I promised everyone no more mention of the foreskin face cream here but I feel a final final mention is warranted.

In fact, I have wrestled with this post for some time now. How to broach the subject?

What will they think of me?

There is a confession I have to make.

(Hangs head in shame.)

After staring at the bottle for a few days, I started to feel guilty. My friend, the dermatologist, had given it to me. Didn’t I owe him? Shouldn’t I try this out, you know, for the sake of science?

So I moved it from the bedroom to the bathroom and stared at it for a few more days. Those days dragged on into a couple of weeks, each day the guilt growing until at last the burden was too great to bear.

I put a daub of the red, gooey, gel-like substance on my finger and nearly retched from the stench as I smeared it on my face. The scent lingered for hours, wafting into my nostrils with every turn of my head.

More than one person said, “You are over-thinking it!”

No. No I am not. This is beyond thinking, beyond logic.

I let it sit on the shelf next to my toothpaste for a few days longer until the guilt was worse than the smell. It is amazing how visceral olfactory memories can be and that coupled with the color (matches cell culture material) was very powerful, taking me back to age 22 when I was the one in charge of those musty cell cultures. It took me weeks of twice daily application to get to where the smell no longer affected me. Now if only my skin could look like it was 22 again…

The result?

At first I wondered if what I was seeing really was real. Was age related presbyopia catching up with me? Did I just hope so much that I was not suffering for naught that I imagined the changes? Like the phenomenon where people erroneously rate more expensive items as more successful than their cheaper counterparts? As I am nearing the end of the bottle I can see that it is not just my imagination. It did reduce the fine wrinkles around my eyes and the smile lines around my mouth. I think my skin texture changed for the better, too. 

I find that I am wearing less makeup, though I am not sure that really has as much to do with the effects of the cream building confidence as it does with laziness and aging. Perhaps I look better because I refuse to use my old lady glasses when I out on make-up? My upper eyelids are sagging into my eyeliner along the lash line, rubbing off. Without eyeliner, why wear eyeshadow? Then, I stopped wearing foundation on weekends. 

So the question then becomes will I continue to use it when I have to pay for it? 


And there you have it. 


104 thoughts on “The Holy Grail

  1. Logic states face creams are a rip off. But I have friend who works for a company that sells these facial products. $1000.00 per jar on face cream. I have received samples. After three months I have looked 10 years younger.
    But can I buy this? No! I am not that wealthy. Well there goes the younger look. Enjoy your cream!

    Liked by 2 people

      • Anything that will address mouth lines, I want to know about. I was never a smoker, but apparently, lifetime whistling (perhaps plus connective tissue disease?) does the same damage 😦 . But if it is TNS Essential Serum from Skin Medica, which is the foreskin cream folks were up in arms about that Oprah raved about, that is $270 an ounce. $1,000 a jar (a small jar) then sounds about right.

        I know you don’t want to specifically name the cream, Victo, but if I said the initials “TNS” would I be getting warm, or cold?

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I would go for it, too. I thought I had given up completely on wearing makeup as my eyesight is so horrible that I can’t apply it anymore so I haven’t worn makeup in over four years, except for my high school reunion and my son’s wedding, both two years ago. Then after losing 70 pounds I bought some glasses for applying makeup. They have only one lens that flips over from side to side so you can still have some help while applying makeup to the other side. Now I just have to get to the store to get some makeup as I had thrown it all out (except my foundation). That happens today! So I guess I’m going for “it” too.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. You need samples for your readers so we can all weigh in! BTW I use a serum that smells like smoked sausage. Only for a minute or so but still. Been using for a couple of years and I don’t smell it anymore. I much prefer that than to have them add artificial perfumes.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Perhaps any cream used as consistently would have similar effects? I think I might have thrown the near-by toothpaste away for fear of cross-contamination of scent. Maybe lines were reduced because you didn’t move your face, trying to not dislodge smelly molecules and have them enter your nose? Would adopting a habitual inscrutable expression work the same? Or never laughing and.or scowling?

    Actually, I am just giving you a hard time. I can’t smell your face from here. ❀ I can't see you either ❀ But I imagine it does not smell as bad as suggested because your children would not tolerate it … and most likely would tell you.

    I hadI imagined the scent as being somewhere between smegma and spoiled meat or maybe buzzard puke. Gahhh … wretch … aargh!! No hugs and kisses in trade for less wrinkles? Sleeping isolated amongst ruined bed linens, pillows???? Naw. Uh uh. Although I do know that people can adapt to strong odors by becoming desensitized … but the people who carry the odors on their person tend to be ostracized … that can't be you !!!!

    Liked by 2 people

  5. I know nothing about foreskin cream (other than from your posts, of course), but I can tell you this: Once I stopped using make-up, I started getting more compliments on my appearance. The make-up was actually making me look older because it was getting into and highlighting all those fine age-related wrinkles. I looked around and saw other women my age who were not wearing make-up, and they looked pretty good, so I decided to try it, too. I have never gone back to make-up – not even for special occasions.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Valid question. I am mourning the loss of my youth. We can wax philosophical about why but that would require a whole series of posts. I think most women go through this. I am more at peace with it than I was when I turned 40, but aging forces you to own up to your own mortality, ultimately. That is painful.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Facing my own mortality is painful…mostly because I have not really lived. It’s really more about morning the loss of a future (or loss of time) not my youth; I don’t care about hair, wrinkles or admiring looks, I’d like more time and the means with which to enjoy it.

        Liked by 2 people

    • Karyn, I really can relate to what you said about not having lived and mourning the loss of a future. I was married to an abuser for thirty years, and allowed myself to become socially isolated, losing all of my friends. I had a craving to start where I had left off. Losing appearance of age, for women, can be related to this, since so many women get post-divorce plastic surgery that there are jokes about it.

      I also think that many women don’t mind so much looking older. They mind their particular problem areas–things they are sensitive about–and if you ask them why, these are either parts of their face or neck that they have been sensitive about even before they aged, or else they feel that the WAY they wrinkled there has made them look sad or tired (this, from women who have had more unhappiness).

      These are just my opinions, and definitely colored by my personal experience πŸ™‚ !

      Liked by 2 people

  6. I used to haul untreated cow skins from New York too Newfoundland (they were used on trawlers to protect the steel cables from the rocky bottom). They smelled putrid, but I got used to it.The blood used to run out the drain holes in the trailer. My question is can everyone else smell it? In the case of cowhides, the answer is a resounding YES. .I wonder about your face cream.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I have never worn much make up. The rare time I dress up, I might put on mascara, but that’s about it. If I put on lipstick I immediately turn into a 5 year old playing in my moms makeup. I just feel silly. I use Dove soap on my face. Have all my life. I have been told I look much younger than my actual age. I’ve had people not believe how old I actually am. I can’t believe how old I am! But yet, here I am, older than a lot but still younger than some. I sometimes see old people and imagine them in their youth, I wonder if they look at young people and think the same thing, “I remember looking like that”, when in reality, what we look like means nothing really…..

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Look what vanity does to us. What a hell of a mess. This is why I have such a dim view of the fashion and cosmetic industries. They prey on the insecurities of (mainly) women. There’s big money to be made in making you guys feel bad about the way you look. They’ve got you spreading smelly crap all over your face.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I’m impressed that you got past the smell, I remember that smell and it ain’t pretty. But I guess, like anything, you get used to it. Could other people smell it? Sorry I am obsessed with the smell LOL. I’m also impressed that it seems to have worked! That’s actually very cool.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. It’s all about you at this point, Doc. As soon as you decided to put the first dab on your face, it was your game. I’m glad that you’re thrilled with the results. Without seeing the before or after, I’m declaring that both were and striking on their own strengths and merits.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Hahaha! Omg, this is too funny! I think you should use the face cream if you want to!!! What is foreskin, if not skin? Did you know that I happen to think that paying a small fortune on a weekly basis to a little Chinese lady who treats me like a pincushion actually reduces my anxiety…? If it works, it works!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. And here I felt bold getting a keratin treatment for my eternally corkscrew curly hair…

    Must have missed the first article on this as it caught me by surprise, lol! If anyone ever wants to know your beauty secret, will you tell them?

    (not so silently wonders if anyone has called you d*ckface yet)

    I should run away quickly now, hahahahah!

    Liked by 2 people

    • I have, in fact, been called that before! Totally appropriate now! Ha! πŸ˜€ As for being honest about it, absolutely. The LAST thing someone needs is to be jealous of me when I do not come about it honestly.

      Liked by 1 person

  13. What has happened to us ?? I used to laugh at my mother when she talked about trying to get rid of freckles as a kid. One solution had to do with baby urine and neighbor’s diaper pales. I can’t even….

    This one reminds me a bit of that story, Doc. I couldn’t do it. Odors are a game changer for me. Hope it’s worth it for you, and if you like the results…why not? Different strokes…

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Ya know Doc, if it makes you feel better, than damn everything else. I just hope that when a cute guy comes into your office your eyelids don’t get an erection…… they are supposed to be of the same skin factors as a penis! wouldn’t that be a hoot…you would look like you had a thyroid issue….lololol

    Sorry, totally inappropriate… lololol πŸ˜‰

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Pingback: My Article Read (6-2-2015) | My Daily Musing

  16. The best thing about the “Holy Grail” is that it can be anything.

    You sometimes have to skip Camelot. Some say it is a silly place. Some say it is a model (of our imagination).

    Whether vanity or replacing horses for banging coconuts does it for you, it is what it is.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. The cream sounds quite funny the way you describe it and reminds me of when I finally drank my first green smoothie with spirolina in it and I swear it had come to life and the bubbles were chatting to each other. It took me at least a week to get around to making that smoothie and half an hour to have a sip. Even though it gave me quite a boost, I had to stop taking it as spirolina can mess with your immune system and i didn’t want to risk a flare up of my auto-immune disease. xx Rowena

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Ah, so you admit you are a foreskin beauty? πŸ˜‰ That’s too funny! The whole foreskin thing cracks me up, indeed. It makes me wonder what they’ll think of next…. (Let’s see, penis skin on a woman’s face — check. Why don’t we try testicle hair to whiten out teeth? Or maybe an earlobe skin shake for weight loss? Yeah, see if they’ll buy that.) πŸ˜‰ But seriously, if it works, embrace it! Anything that makes you feel good about you is a good investment. (I use placenta hair treatment and love it, and that used to gross me out completely!) πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

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