I know that I promised everyone no more mention of the foreskin face cream here but I feel a final final mention is warranted.
In fact, I have wrestled with this post for some time now. How to broach the subject?
What will they think of me?
There is a confession I have to make.
(Hangs head in shame.)
After staring at the bottle for a few days, I started to feel guilty. My friend, the dermatologist, had given it to me. Didn’t I owe him? Shouldn’t I try this out, you know, for the sake of science?
So I moved it from the bedroom to the bathroom and stared at it for a few more days. Those days dragged on into a couple of weeks, each day the guilt growing until at last the burden was too great to bear.
I put a daub of the red, gooey, gel-like substance on my finger and nearly retched from the stench as I smeared it on my face. The scent lingered for hours, wafting into my nostrils with every turn of my head.
More than one person said, “You are over-thinking it!”
No. No I am not. This is beyond thinking, beyond logic.
I let it sit on the shelf next to my toothpaste for a few days longer until the guilt was worse than the smell. It is amazing how visceral olfactory memories can be and that coupled with the color (matches cell culture material) was very powerful, taking me back to age 22 when I was the one in charge of those musty cell cultures. It took me weeks of twice daily application to get to where the smell no longer affected me. Now if only my skin could look like it was 22 again…
At first I wondered if what I was seeing really was real. Was age related presbyopia catching up with me? Did I just hope so much that I was not suffering for naught that I imagined the changes? Like the phenomenon where people erroneously rate more expensive items as more successful than their cheaper counterparts? As I am nearing the end of the bottle I can see that it is not just my imagination. It did reduce the fine wrinkles around my eyes and the smile lines around my mouth. I think my skin texture changed for the better, too.
I find that I am wearing less makeup, though I am not sure that really has as much to do with the effects of the cream building confidence as it does with laziness and aging. Perhaps I look better because I refuse to use my old lady glasses when I out on make-up? My upper eyelids are sagging into my eyeliner along the lash line, rubbing off. Without eyeliner, why wear eyeshadow? Then, I stopped wearing foundation on weekends.
So the question then becomes will I continue to use it when I have to pay for it?
And there you have it.