“Doc, I don’t want to check my blood sugars. It hurts too much.”
Airplanes just hit the twin towers. I need to tell my mother to make my father stay home from work today. He is supposed to be in a federal sky scraper. What if there are more targets? Wait. I hate the man. Why am I caring? Do I care? Yes. But I don’t want to care….
“It hurts too much? You are on insulin. You have been hospitalized for diabetic ketoacidosis twice so far this year. If you DON’T check your blood sugar you are going to end up back in ICU. Maybe dead. That is really gonna hurt…”
The towers are burning. Collapsing. All of those people hurting, in pain. And YOU think it is too much of a burden to do a tiny finger prick every day?!?! I want to scream at you.
“This stuffy nose started yesterday. Make it go away.”
Is the red phone in the ER?
“But I can’t make it just go away. It is a viral infection. Your body will have to do that. You are just going to have to treat the symptoms as best you can and let it run its course.”
A stuffy nose? That’s it?!??! Since yesterday? Have you seen what is happening? I want YOU to go away! I need to make phone calls, check on people that I love. I need to cry, to grieve. But there is no time right now…
“Doc, my knee has been bothering me for two years…”
“Two years? Why today? Why is today the day to have it fixed?”
What is knee pain in the greater scope? It isn’t your fault you came in today, you could not have known when you made this appointment, but still I am angry. I want to be angry with someone. You. You are here. You have a face, a body I can touch. You are real.
The world shifted then stood still, silent for a fraction of a second, then unfairly continued on.