Unnatural

 Sculpture inside museum foyer. 
“I want you to refer me to someone else. A male doctor.” She shifted uncomfortably in her seat.

“Really?” I was suddenly seething, defensive. I am a woman. I can’t help it. “Why is that? I am fully qualified to do a routine pelvic exam. It is an in and out, less than 2 minute process.” 

Are you saying I am less capable as a female?

“Because it is unnatural for another woman to do a pelvic exam on another woman. Immoral.”

“Uh…. why?” What could be more natural than women helping other women? Admittedly, though, I was relieved. I relaxed a bit. I would rather someone questioned my moral footing than my skill, it would seem.

She shook her head disapprovingly. “Women just should not be looking at another woman’s lady bits…” 

I have heard this argument over and over again through the years. Patients have the right to see whomever makes them feel comfortable, especially when it involves their “lady bits” and I am happy to oblige, but I have always been fascinated by this unnatural argument. 

So, does gender matter to you? Why or why not? And fellas, I am not just asking pertaining to “lady bits” in case you want to chime in, too.

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201 thoughts on “Unnatural

  1. “Unnatural”? I mean come on. Is it more natural to have a male doctor do it?
    I remember when my daughter was in Med school, the number of patients (male and female) who would call her “Miss”. Females are nurses, doctors are males, right? (But then this is Mexico, some things are not too surprising). Well, patients will have to get used to it. I don’t know the stats over there (the US?) but here, women outnumber men in med school. And not just quantitatively.
    😉

    Liked by 2 people

      • I don’t have stats. I could look for some I guess. It is just casual observation from my daughter’s generation. But I’m pretty sure about it. Women are better and more motivated. Now, in the US, the Pew research center does report a significant majority of women as College graduates/plan to over men in the Millenial generation. (b. 1980-2000) Future years will be fascinating. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Really interesting! Most women here PREFER a woman OBGYN. I have no real preference because when I first started seeing one, there were only male MDs. Now I have three women taking care of me (Internist, Cardiologist, OBGYN) but it’s more by chance than anything else.

    Liked by 2 people

    • We (women) have certainly grown in number in the profession. Not that we are better (respect to your husband here). We are different, though, and we both serve the needs of patients in different ways.

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  3. I always insist on a female doctor for all of my needs. My primary, my mental health physician (when I had one) counselor, obgyn doc etc. No men for me, I think a woman has a better chance of understanding me as a woman and treating me. Now, I wouldn’t refuse care over a male doctor but it’s not my preference.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Huh. I have absolutely no problems going to a female doctor. In fact, until recently all of my GP’s and internists have been. They can see me nude, tell me to turn and cough, and I’m not uncomfortable in the least. But all things being equal, for a urologist? I’d prefer to see a man.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. I’ve had doctors of both sexes I liked and doctors I didn’t. In general I have more personal relationships with women physicians, but in terms of comfort…I don’t think it matters. Personality fit is more important to me. (K)

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I’ve had a couple female gynecologists who’s personalities I didn’t click with, but I still have a mild preference for someone of my same gender, because women have a better understanding of what it’s like to live with a vagina, not to mention those lady hormones, and mammograms. I have a stronger preference for the phrase, “lady parts,” rather than “lady bits.” “Bits” just feels diminishing. If you consider all of history, I bet women have been practicing healing arts on other women’s lady parts for more years than men have.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. It is ridiculous. Maybe it is part of her religious belief or something. If a doctor is qualified and has a good bedside manor it does not matter what gender they are. Does that mean she would prefer a male nurse too. I have never heard a statement so ridiculous before. Boy you do get them all Doc. Bless your heart. :o)

    Liked by 1 person

  8. No real preference here but if choosing I’d say female. My GP and my gyno are both male and they’ve seen it all and been incredibly compassionate but there’s that small feeling of it being more appropriate for a woman to do it. I found the comments to this post to be extremely profound. I cried reading April’s comments, what a horrifying experience to have that happen “on the table”. Great post.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. So strange! We hardly ever see that in my line of work. So often women refuse to have a male doctor involved in their care. I feel like women know women better and men know men better. I’m not going to say that gender makes anyone a better doctor. However, when I’m the recipient of that speculum and a woman is doing it, I find extremes comfort in knowing that she knows exactly what it feels like. And every time I spec someone else… I can know exactly what I’m doing to them…

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I will only go to a woman gynecologist! My first experience where I was naked with a man…..I was 16yrs old and I wanted to be on the pill, so my mom made me an appointment. I was not sexually active, I just hated the cramps, so I went to my mom’s and my great aunt’s doctor. Let your legs fall back and relax should never be in the same sentence….ever. So I am on the table in my paper gown, completely terrified while staring at the picture of a kitten on the ceiling? The doctor comes in and says you look at my pussy(the kitten on the ceiling) and I’ll look at yours. I was mortified! To this day I will only go to a woman and that is where my daughter will go. Maybe I really am just a prude?

    Liked by 1 person

  11. While I have been to both male and female OB’s (and I see both as equally qualified), I prefer female for one reason only, they have to go through the same procedure and I find them more empathetic. (Most) men whine about a finger up the ass. Bah! I dare you to try being a woman for day. A
    lthough I’ll admit being an inny or an outy both have their respective issues.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Well now. I have never heard that argument. Sounds like some religious propaganda struck her quite squarely in the face.

    My decision to have a female OBGYN has nothing to do with morals. Anyway. I’m just more comfortable with a female doctor.

    Liked by 1 person

      • I only go to women doctors these days. I’ve had some very good male doctors, but just as many that seem biased. I don’t want to be called ‘Dear.’ I was told at 33 when I was pregnant for the second time that my ‘plumbing was old’ odd because everything seemed to be working just fine. I even went on to have a third child at 37!!! The worst was a rough violation of a routine anal when I was around 21. I certainly never went back to him, but it did begin to shape my attitudes. Today, I’ve been with a woman physician for 15 years. She knows me and in the office it is professional but friendly. I trust her. She’s gentle kind and even makes time to listen. I find this more ‘natural’ for me. 🙂 Victo, hang in there. I’m sure many of your women patients appreciate and respect you.

        Liked by 1 person

  13. Really? I have always questioned the sanity, let alone the morality, of a man who makes looking at “lady bits” his profession. I have never had that reaction, although I’ve often had feedback from young women that they’re glad I wasn’t a man. This takes me by surprise, that a woman would actually request that a man do her pelvic. De gustibus non disputatem, I guess.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. I don’t like being examined by either, sorry. My privates are my privates – how about I examine them and let you know. 🙂 But all kidding aside this is a tough one for me. Damn, I’m a guy and just found out I need to get an exam for my work. I’m told that part of this is some nurse poking me in the butt with a swab. Oh that will be really comfortable. I know your a Doc and all but us common people do have our quirks and exposing our privates just ain’t easy. If I was a flasher on the other hand I might just get a thrill out of it. Thank God I’m not.

    Liked by 1 person

    • To be honest, it is a relief when a patient is not all that eager to have their privates examined. It is the ones who enjoy it that you have to watch out for. As for why a nurse is shoving a swab up your bum… Yikes. Not a job I would be keen to have. You have my sympathies!

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      • Lol, not looking forward to it. Russia is a bit weird. Several years ago I had to do a urine analysis showing I was drug free. In the end the nurse held the pee cup up to the light and then poured it into this larger vat that I’m guessing was the same. I was astonished. But the whole process was a maze so I’m guessing that the affair was to see if I could figure out how to get to the end. Russia’s method of confronting the drug addict confusion.

        Liked by 1 person

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