Now, it is December. Time for the battle over the stars, or Star Wars, as I like to call it.
This is when those patients come out who get offended if I don’t say Merry Christmas, because rather than Happy Holidays being a sign of respect for the multitude of religious preferences that I see, it is for them anti-Christian and thereby offensive. That by itself is exhausting.
I used to feel like a whole month was an eternity, more than enough time to shop and decorate and party. No more. Now I know it will dash by in a flash.
And I feel wholly unprepared.
There have been meetings about how much to bonus the staff, meetings about what kind of clinic Christmas party to have in excruciating detail (Someone else please decide all of that so I can just show up, please!), decorations for the inside of the house, decorations for the outside of the house, decorations for the clinic, community tree lighting ceremonies, dance recitals, school Christmas programs, and that does not even cover the battle of shopping…
Invariably, I will be left at the last minute scrambling for gifts for everyone and I will end up resenting that a holiday can make me feel so damn inadequate.
I was going to compile a bunch of family recipes and anecdotes into a book and give them as a gift to my niece. I was informed that was a bad idea, that she wants only money or gift cards. Now I feel like giving her socks.
Why can’t I just focus on making a good holiday for my kids? Why do I have to spread cheer to everyone else, too? And why do people have to be offended when I don’t share the “right” kind of cheer? Who are you to dictate, anyway?!??!?
The inner Vader is already wanting to crawl out…
I try to tell myself that this is about spreading love and joy to a hurting world, that it is not about me. That only helps a tiny bit. It feels as if I am being robbed of time and money and that sucks my own joy. What will I do about it? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. I will keep my mouth shut and smile when appropriate and make sure everyone has a gift so no one’s feelings get hurt. I don’t want to get labelled the evil bitch, you know.
So there you go.
Happy Holidays! 🙂