Bound Up

Cambodia 512

My question for today: Why do jog bras have to be so goddamn hard to get on and off? 

The older I am, the stronger the elastic has to get because the girls are just not as perky as they used to be.

Each and every time there is that moment when my arms are pinned up over my head tangled in the elastic and I realize:

This is NOT going to work! 

While the bra is somewhere it shouldn’t be I discover that I can barely breathe and I start to get palpitations. Only then I realize that I cannot go back the way I came. I have to get it on before I can get it off. 

Gah! All manner of profanity runs through my head at these moments.

I am terrified I am going to get stuck that way and have to use my nose to dial 911. And you know that it will be the hot firefighter guys that end up bring the jaws of life…. no understanding female will be in the bunch. This is why I always make sure I at least have shorts on before I attempt the jog bra. 

They shouldn’t have to see my naked butt, too.

Thank goodness for touch screens, people, because I swear one of these days that is gonna be me. You will hear about it in the news and know it is me…

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