The Crevice

Chicago Sky

I am not entirely certain why he comes to see me every year for his physical.

Each visit is exhausting. I make a statement, he argues. I argue back. He has said that he considers himself to be smarter than any physician. I try to show him why he is wrong.

Thrust. Parry. Stab. Duck. Turn. 

I felt I had managed quite well this time, getting through the visit without bloodshed. I was quite proud of myself. 

Relief flooded over me. 

“Well, I am done here. My medical assistant will be in in a few minutes to take you over to the lab.” I smiled to myself as I picked up my computer and started quickly for the door hoping to get there before he said anything else.

“Hey, Doc!” I could sense a sort of glee in his tone.

I cringed inside. I turned around and smiled at him, hoping to show that he was not going to get to me. 

“Yes?” I asked, keeping my tone even.

“I just wanted you to know that you have something stuck in your teeth when you smile.”

I ran the tip of my tongue over the teeth. Sure enough, I could feel a big chunk of the breakfast sausage I had snatched from my daughter’s plate on the way out the door that morning had lodged itself between two teeth in that sneaky crevice right at the gum line. 

Damn it!

He had struck the final blow. 

This time.

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83 thoughts on “The Crevice

  1. 😂 You made my day !

    Of all the patients you see, it just had to be THAT guy who would see a piece of sausage that decided to hide out from you in plain sight.. You are PRICELESS and so are your tales of,
    patient encounters of the turd kind 😉

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Interesting that you viewed it as a “blow.” It sounds more like predictable give and take – at least with this patient. Every visit with the Cardiologist is a negotiation for me. He and I both know it’s coming and he appreciates my “being one of his more informed clients.” Never any blows between us, even if one has a broccoli floret in their teeth. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. In your place I think I would have said to this bird, “Your lifestyle is adversely affecting your health. If you want it, I can give you advice on that, but if not, I’ll save it for other patients. What do you prefer?”

    Liked by 1 person

  4. That was a good one; yet if that’s the best he could do…I’d say you won this one.
    No reply was truly best, although I guess you could have told him, “Thanks for pointing that out. Are you hungery? Would you like it for a snack?” (smile)

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Funny ending – I was expecting it to turn out to be your Dad or Husband. When I was trucking I loaded out of Toronto one day and headed to northern Ontario. Not far up the 400 ( major north-south artery connected to Toronto) I passed another of our tankers who was pulled over on the side by the Ontario Provincial Police (OPP) with flashing lights and all. The officer was standing on the driver’s step and her finger was going in the driver’s face.I figured he was in trouble. I stopped for a meal later and while i was eating the driver came in and joined me. I asked if he was in trouble with the law and he laughed and responded: “No, that was my wife, she’s an OPP sergeant and wanted to make sure I had fed the dog. I forgot last time.”

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Pingback: My Article Read (4-24-2016) – My Daily Musing

  7. HAHAHA! Oooh no had to be ‘that patient’! You need to yell (*kidding) at your medical assistants. I always told my docs I worked with/for if they had anything (that shouldn’t be there) in their teeth, nose, etc,,, 1st time I ever said anything I felt ummm,,, then I thought what if it was ME! ?! He was appreciative. Cool Diane, YAY! *high 5d myself

    Liked by 1 person

  8. In fencing you learn to riposte.

    Defend, attack from the defensive position and score. So you get hit? Fuck it.

    Next time you might take a hit again. You give that point away. Next attack you defend, riposte and score. You will always get hit. Yet you can always riposte and take over the match.

    Liked by 1 person

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