“The first time I remember realizing I was fat was when I was about five years old. My mother had made me a beautiful pink dress for Easter and I was standing in the middle of the aisle at the dime store just twirling around and around…”
Her voice faded away for a moment as the memory overtook her.
“I was feeling so beautiful, just twirling. A older woman suddenly stopped short and exclaimed, ‘Well, aren’t you just the cutest, roundest little butterball I have ever seen!’ My father was there and started laughing uncontrollably. When he got home he told my mother, my bothers, and all of his friends. They laughed and laughed and laughed. He threatened to tie me to the tree in the back yard where the dogs were chained so they would chase me around and around until I lost weight. Everyone thought that was awfully funny, too, and the laughed and laughed some more…”
Anorexia has left her a skeleton.
She does not hear anyone say she is beautiful.
She does not hear anyone say she is not fat.
All she hears is the laughter.