Left Behind


She made a raw cry that rose up from deep inside, like the rending of a heart, the most soul splitting sound of grief I have ever heard. Her body shook with the violent sobs as she managed to explain that her husband had died unexpectedly, violently the evening before. 



My first thought?

Please, God, when I die let there be someone who loves me that much….

My second thought? 

Why? Why does it have to be this way? 

This sound has been heard all over the country, over and over again. This is not about guns so much as it is about fear. 

And as a consequence, anger.

Fix the fear.

It is going to get worse, isn’t it?

Isn’t it?

If shooting someone makes all of this better, then here. Take me. Kill me, right now. I will die willingly if it means no more death for anyone else on either side of this divide, if it means my kids and your kids can live in peace.

Take me. 


I cannot bear to watch anyone else die, no matter what color their skin. Everyone has the right to feel safe, protected. This woman. Protesters. Police. You. Me. Everyone.


73 thoughts on “Left Behind

  1. I think the real problem is the militarization of the police. There can be no doubt that there is a racial selection here. All of this is traumatizing. The police need to be trained to deescalate instead of shooting first. They also need to be held accountable for any killing done by police. It can be done.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. It’s so incredibly complicated, isn’t it. Everybody thinks they and their side is right, when in truth, everybody is wrong and everybody suffers. I keep haring Rodney King speaking in my head: “Can’t we all just get along?”

    Liked by 2 people

      • I used to think that one of the best things about America was that nobody held grudges because nobody knew who killed their grandparents back in the old country. But now we’re killing each other here and new grudges that won’t go away are developing.

        The more things change …

        Liked by 1 person

  3. These shootings are all so absurd. I think it shows incredible selfishness, cowardice, and entitlement. I’ve had a bad day or two, and even failed to get my way on occasion. I never considered shooting any one as a solution. The victims are all complete strangers who seem to be chosen at random. Other than the uniform, the police victims were all strangers too.

    Liked by 1 person

      • Frustrating. I think those people are filled with pain, and need an outlet. Perhaps just listening to them provides an outlet. If they know someone has truly heard them, then maybe they’ll be less likely to reach for a gun.

        Liked by 4 people

  4. Yes, it’s going to get worse before it gets better. If it gets better at all. When some can’t even acknowledge that there is a divide to begin with, then you arm your citizenry and ply them with a steady diet of fear-mongering, it’s going to get a whole lot worse.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Seeing it from half a globe away, it appears to be only the start of a long, long, night for America…….I could say I hope that doesn’t come to pass, but hopeful thoughts only help us, no one else..

    Liked by 1 person

  6. It is going to get worse but this anger and bloodshed has been around as long as man has been. We just hear about it more and more globally. It bothers me when people second guess the police and say stupid things like train them. Believe me, they are trained. I know this from living with a Sr Police Range Officer for 27 years, We do not and will never know the whole intent of what happened. Second guessing and jumping on one side or the other only fuels the fire.
    We perpetuate the anger with our media, our movies, our video games and our social norms. It is tragic and it is sad. Will we ever stop,…. not until there is only one person standing.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Anger, hate, rage sells. Thus it is exploited. Humanity suffers. We just do it on a much larger scale now than ever before. That doesn’t mean there are not valid grievances on both sides but it seems fueling the fire rather than finding a solution is much more fun for certain parties.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. This morning, my 9-year old came up and asked, “Daddy, why is the world so violent?” I tried to explain there was violence in the world but the world itself isn’t a violent place. What they show in the paper is very selective. The worst of the worst. Not sure if she bought it or not.

    Liked by 2 people

    • This is what I am speaking of when I say social media makes this all worse. The Texas lieutenant governor claimed that social media makes everyone think cops are bad but that isn’t the point. It makes everything worse. When you are fed this violence over and over again it does something to your heart and your head. People react before they have the whole story because they can… they have a platform. You get a virtual lynch mob going and all black people must die, kill the white people, we need to shut down protestors, they all deserved it anyway, etc and etc and etc. Hate fuels more hate and soon there is no controlling it. No one has time to calm down and let level heads prevail. I realize this is the world we live in, information technology is not going to go backwards just because I think it should. I didn’t live through the civil rights movement decades ago. Maybe they felt much of what I feel right now. I just have nothing to compare this to…

      Liked by 1 person

  8. One of the shooters in Dallas said that he did it because he was angry at white people.

    I just can’t imagine having that kind of awful anger that you would be willing to take your gun to a public place and kill complete strangers. And for what? What good will that accomplish? That is the awful tragedy of it. Killing those cops or any cops will not make them treat black people any better. If anything, it will make them believe that black people are dangerous and should be treated with suspicion. 😦

    Liked by 1 person

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