Writing Fiction (Part Two)

Hawaiian beach at sunset
When she had told him the news he kissed her with a kiss that took her breath away then made love to her right there on the kitchen floor.

No words. 

Just love.

They had a list of names. 

Beautiful names.

But names are only words and words are lies. She understood that soon enough.

Up all night with a critical patient in ICU, the cramping had started.

It never stopped.

Red blood and red wine. She tried to wash away the one with the other as she flushed their dreams away. Just a bit of macerated tissue. Why did it have to hurt so much?

He was on call. So far away, saving lives. But he could not save this one. 

Please come back to me.

She would not ever tell him, she vowed. Never. She would not give him that burden to bear. She would make up her own story to tell for another day.

Just hold me.

An empty bottle, fear and loathing. 

She wanted to hate him but could not so she hated herself and she fought and bit and spit to drive him away. 

But he would not go.

She had failed at the one thing she was made to do, the one thing she wanted to succeed at more than anything else in the whole world.

To be loved. 

So she sat on the floor in the bathroom alone and cried enough to fill the tub, remembering his kiss. That kiss. She bathed in her sorrows, the salt burning all of her wounds until she was numb. 

Finally she was numb.

Then she rewrote her own story…

Deeps in the wilds of the Amazonian rainforest, she shouldered her rifle. Her eyes stung with sweat. She wiped her brow as she surveyed the tree line up ahead. It was lurking there, just beyond the shadows….her demon. She could feel it its gaze upon her, watching. It always surprised her, coming when she least expected it. Her finger rested calmly on the trigger, even as her heart pounded loud in her ears. She would be ready this time. There would be no sleep for her tonight.

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51 thoughts on “Writing Fiction (Part Two)

  1. Ooh, can’t wait for more!

    It makes me wonder, why do we push away the thing we long for most of all, when it’s there and all we have to do is reach out and accept it.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. It’s a good thing that you excel in both doctoring and writing or you’d be..
    Dare I say it ?

    A quack hack 😂

    Have you had writing courses ? If not, this talent is exceptional .. Even with writing knowledge, this is exceptional
    Looking forward to the next installment of this tale 😊

    Liked by 3 people

  3. I love your essays, and now I love your fiction. I loved the bit at the end, armed to defend against the demon. We all have so many demons to arm ourselves against. If only we could kill our demons, but of course that would be the end of the story.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. wow, again I went a long for the ride…doing these, they are great and I hope it is a part of a book someday?

    I totally got this: She had failed at the one thing she was made to do, the one thing she wanted to succeed at more than anything else in the whole world. oh, I so understand that….

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Excellent writing Victo – touched the heart. I enjoy a strong female character who is willing to use deadly force to face her demons. I used to read a lot of fiction -sometimes 10 or 12 novels a week. This is the first time i have seen an author approach a complex personal character problem by using higher mathematical concepts – and it is an elegant thing of beauty you have accomplished here Victo. I always disliked plot lines that had a broken character facing a complex problem – I like my characters firing on all cylinders. It is a personal thing – I first fix my personal issues and then turn to external problems and resolve them. A novel may be about fixing an internal problem – and that is fine – or it may be about dealing with an external force that threatens; but I do not enjoy plot lines that try to accomplish both.

    That said, when your character lost her baby, a demon was born – and that demon will haunt her for the rest of her life. It will attack at the worst times, it will artificially influence major decisions, it will negatively affect personal development, etc. etc. It is inside and all around her. In my life experience, you never, ever beat those demons, they are eternal.

    Here’s the trick – you don’t have to beat the demons – you can live comfortably with them – all you have to do is remove them from your head – externalize them. They are still part of your experiences but they have no sway or effect on your actions and decisions. And you did that beautifully by creating a story for your character that puts the demons in the forest and a weapon in her hand. I have personal experience with this when I killed a man in an accident – he was driving on my side of the road – and I learned how to separate out the demons. They are still there = just not influencing.

    Oh, and the elegant math? This is precisely the process used to solve complex simultaneous equations – solve for “x” – in this case “x” is the main character. So, remove the main character( or all x factors) to one side of the equations and all the non-x factors to the other side. Which is precisely what you did in the Amazon. There are a number of other steps but the main idea is to isolate x to solve the equations. As long as the other variables (i.e. demons) are intertwined with the main character, there is no solution. As soon as she is separated from the demons, then a solution becomes clear.

    Superb and thought- provoking Victo. Thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

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