The Fast Lane

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Barb Taub asked: Parenting, doctoring, partnering, blogging… My question is how? And I don’t mean in smile modestly, Superwoman kind of way. But more in a what do you get back that makes it worth it to do all those things?We are the lucky ones—your readers/patients/admirers. But what do you get out of all of it?

I am going to start with blogging. What do I get out of blogging? Sanity. And craziness. But mostly sanity. If I did not have a place to put my words where someone would read them, I would go stark raving mad. I was close once. Writing for me is like cutting is for others. The tension builds until I cannot stand it and then I open the wound and bleed all over a page or two. You all save me. Sometimes life hurts so much you have to have somewhere else to put some of that hurt so you can walk away from it. Once I write something here, my fictions or my truths, I can let it go and set it free…. then bury it in other posts until it suffocates and dies. 

I also started blogging to see if I was any good at writing. People close to you will pile all kinds of flattery on you to keep you happy, but strangers? If strangers liked what they read, then maybe I was actually good at it.

I read a post at Barnraised this morning that started off with this: “Have you ever hit a wall? Wishing it could be a mirror that would reflect back into the world everything you know to be true in your soul?” Blogging is my mirror, so I don’t have to hit the wall. 

Parenting. Once you have a kid, as it turns out, you are kinda stuck raising them. The alternative is jail. Avoiding jail is very rewarding in and of itself, but to be honest, my kids have saved me on more than once occasion. The well placed hug, the “I love you, mommy!”, and cuddles…. They are salves for the wounded soul. I dread the time when my kids no longer want to do these things. 

Partnering is a matter of survival. Love aside, I cannot do this alone. I don’t want to do this alone. I have been alone. Alone terrifies me. Also, partnering makes blogging possible. So does a housekeeper.

Doctoring. I love medicine. I love patients. I do NOT like the non-medical and non-patient parts of medicine. Fortunately all of the crap has not crowded out all of the joy. Yet. Yesterday was a particularly tough day at the office. I’ll blog about that soon enough….

So, there it is in a nutshell, folks! Thank you so much for reading and for sticking around. 

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62 thoughts on “The Fast Lane

  1. When I worked in the health service I was completely befuddled by the desirecto pull doctors and nurses into management.

    We have skilled clinicians – and often a shortage of them – and we want to pay them on clinical salaries to do management admin, for which they are not trained, on their higher salaries? WTF is with that screwed up thinking?

    Yes, I did get on with all my practising clinical colleagues. I could sort out the crap leaving them to do their job. I lie. One wasn’t happy, but he was no longer practising. A urologist who had de eloped dodgy hand syndrome. Not good for men under the knife. So he tried to become a manager. What a nightmare from hell. His clinical colleagues thought so too 😀

    Pushing medics down the paperwork road is like doing it to teachers. Some people have a constructive vocation, the rest of us support them.

    Liked by 4 people

  2. As far as the kids go, it’s not a given that the hugs and kisses will ever go away. They may occur mor in private at times, but if you play your cards right, they won’t go away. I have a 22 year old son who calls me (from college) to talk and say goodnight and tell me that he loves me. And no, he’s not a “momma’s boy. He’s 6’5” man’s man. But through the years he’s learned that there’s no one who has his best interest like I do. Doesn’t mean he always follows my advice, but he at least asks. Growing up I told him I wasn’t there to be his friend, I was there to teach him how to grow up and be his own man. I got lucky, you sound much like the same kind of parent. Good luck, but the love never goes away.

    Liked by 1 person

      • The hardest thing for me was to learn to just listen and not react immediately (unless warranted). Even though I wanted to scream “You (they) did what?!” Then wait see when the time was right provide feedback. Learned to say “oh really” “that’s interesting” “um him” while gripping the wheel tighter and speeding up. The one thing I told him was I’d keep his secrets unless I thought it was a safety issue or legal issue and I would tell him before I talked to the parents. The other thing that helped him through the teenage years was that if he found himself in a situation he didn’t know how to handle/get out of was to blame us ( his parents). Always put it on us. Through the teens, watch like hell who they are hanging with. And never hesitate to jump in on riff raff friends. It will be ok.

        Liked by 2 people

  3. Blogging can be a life-saver for sure, even if no one ever comments. It gets old talking to the walls, or the cat so at least you can imagine a more intelligent conversation going on. Oh, I wonder if that is a sign that insanity isn’t as far off as I thought… 😉

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  4. I think blogging is like keeping a journal that you share with others. Your blog helps us too, Victo. We see ourselves is some of your dilemmas and one doesn’t feel quite so alone. Also putting your thoughts down helps to organize your thoughts and that makes it easier to make sense of it all. You do it so well.
    Leslie

    Liked by 4 people

  5. I think the thing that separates you, at least in the mind is some, is your profession. We all have/had jobs that incorporated much of what Barb mentioned, but the medical field is especially demanding and draining and those emotions can occasionally leave you with very little at the end of the day. Not that we don’t all have those days, I just think your work requires more of you more often. In my humble opinion.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I understand the kind of satisfaction that comes from writing things out. It is such a release to get the words down, on paper or screen. You are successful at this, Doc, because you’re good at it, and you are candid, speaking from your heart. The ones who pull that off…always the best to read. ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Take heart-I understand your weariness as I raised five kids mostly on my own. It is sure better with a father-but that wasn’t my journey. I hope things work out for you. You seem intelligent and caring-you have the skills. go well and Godspeed. I send you the sweetest wishes for happiness.

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  8. Now you’ve gotten all that out of your system, at least for now. I totally understand the “writing instead of cutting” part. Sometimes I have a post that I absolutely, positively must write. I’ll dream the entire post and then have to get up and write it down. Writing can be cathartic, or fun, or whatever you need it to be on a particular day. Lord knows, I wouldn’t have gotten through the past couple of months if I weren’t able to unload my fear and uncertainty on my readers through my posts. Of course, now it’s probably time to reward those same readers by writing something fun. I’ll see what I can do in the next couple of weeks since I’ll have all that free time and no stress.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I really love your blog. I would comment on everything you write but my little fingers can’t always do it. But I always say “good job I love that” in my head if that counts . 🙂

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  10. Writing is definitely cathartic. You’re so very talented and I’m not just saying that I truly mean it. What a gift that you mostly love what you do, have a partner and kidlets alongside you. One of which plans to take over your business some day..lol
    Sorry you had a bad day. I look forward to reading about it to support you like you support so many others.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Blogging is so much better than being messy from, a bloody mirrored wall, that no child would hug and a partner would flee from, including the housekeeper 😮

    You’ve given as much as you’ve gotten from blogging.. And you know this by “repeat customers”.. Each person who comes back for more, is a testament to the quality of writing, whether they comment or not..
    Writing is an escape, a release.. So is reading, when something worthwhile is found.. 😊

    I purposely avoided mentioning how, the doctor, or doctoring or bureaucracy fits in.. Because it doesn’t matter really..
    Whether you were a doctor, astronaut, pilot, accountant, production worker, manager or any occupation or happily unemployed, your blog’s quality comes from you, not what you do..

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Your analogies are astoundingly precise. I often feel that blogging is my touchstone. Sometimes it feels rough, but even then I know when and where to rub what’s best removed. I for one would be disappointed if you didn’t keep doing you!

    Liked by 1 person

  13. “I also started blogging to see if I was any good at writing. People close to you will pile all kinds of flattery on you to keep you happy, but strangers? If strangers liked what they read, then maybe I was actually good at it.”

    True. People close to you don’t even really read what you write. Strangers who like to read/write do.

    Liked by 1 person

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