Frightened

hissing cockroaches
I was asked by dfolstad58 from Life and Random Thinking what irrational fear I possess. As it turns out, I have two.

The first is that I am afraid someone will think I am stupid. It is a deep seated childhood thing that is not going to go away. I am starting to find my peace with that.

The second is cockroaches. But not just any cockroaches. BIG cockroaches. The picture above happens to show a cluster of Madagascar Hissing Cockroaches. In the Southern US we have a cockroach that is a bit bigger than this. They can grow to be the size of your big toe fist foot and they don’t hiss. 

They growl at you.

Now, as you are no doubt well aware, cockroaches are disgusting, even nauseating. They crawl around in sewers, feeding on rotting, fettid debris and God knows what else in your walls. I take one in my house as a personal affront, an assault on the sanctity and cleanliness of my home. This is a big problem because I happen to live in an old house with tons of cracks and crevices and detritus…. a veritable cockroach heaven.

The worst part about a roach of this size is that they squirt and crunch when you step on them. I cannot stand the squirt-and-crunch from any insect, but especially not from a giant, growling cockroach. Fortunately my kids are big enough there is no risk of one of them getting carried off at this point.

Sooooo….

What does an independent, resourceful woman do when she spies one crawling across the floor? 

Her floor? 

First, I let out a good long shriek. I do not know for sure if cockroaches can hear but I like to think of this as a stun tactic.

Then, I grab a glass and turn it over on top of the bastard. Once one of the beasts escaped by throwing itself against the side until the glass toppled over, so for good measure I pile on a couple of good, thick medical school textbooks or perhaps A through J of one of those old encyclopedia sets. You know the ones I’m talking about, right?

And finally? 

I wait. I wait for someone or something that can take it from here. If I shrieked loud enough at the first sighting, often help has already arrived. If I am alone, though…. Sometimes, that wait can last a very long time. Days, in fact. 

In case you were wondering, these cockroaches don’t just give up and die…. Oh, no. I have even had one trick me by playing dead for a few days only to scurry off lightening fast once I removed the glass and tried to sweep the carcass up for disposal. Sneaky buggers.

So there you go. My fears. The fear of being labeled stupid and the fear of cockroaches. I am not sure which is worse…..

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152 thoughts on “Frightened

  1. Getting over myself to appreciate I’m not actually stupid, however I act it sometimes, has been a tough obstacle. I try to remember all of God’s creatures have a beautiful purpose – but I also try to forget roaches exist – period. I too lived all over the south and southwest, where one could put a saddle on them. I find comfort knowing we share the same coping method almost verbatim. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 4 people

  2. I could totally relate to the fear of feeling stupid, but Holy Hell!! What’s up with those Monster Roaches!! (I originally typed Cock Monsters but decided that might be a poor choice of words :/ )

    I was having an anxiety attack just reading your self-defense approach to an M-R encounter! Bugs and I do not have a happy relationship to start with … these devils would push me over the edge.

    Liked by 5 people

  3. I share the same fear but you just horrified me – they growl? What! We have gigantic tree roaches in south Texas and I found one under the pillow that I had been sleeping on. Even the bug guy shuddered… Living in Egypt and now Texas is not really helping my irrational fear of cockroaches, locusts, moths and cicadas. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 3 people

  4. Hey Victo,

    Irrational fears aside, I was tickled by your humour…growling cockroaches carrying away small children into the darkness of wall cavities and basements. If only! bwahahaha lol ๐Ÿ™‚

    I admit I do the upside down glass thing when large hairy spiders gate-crash the party, but I’d never admit to screaming about it like a girl! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Enjoy a wonderful weekend. Take care of one and all.

    Namaste ๐Ÿ™‚

    DN

    Liked by 1 person

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