Squeezed Tight

She realized at that moment, with his hand on her throat, that if he squeezed just a bit more she would die. What bothered her most was not the dying itself, it was that she would not be able to tell anybody he was the one who had done it. 

Her pulse quickened, throbbing against his fingers.

I want to live….

He let out a strangled sound from his own chest at that moment, startling her. It was a mixture of grief and anger.

“Why?” he moaned.

She stood perfectly still.

“Why did you do this? Why did you lie to me?”

How had he gotten in?

She didn’t want to say anything that might make him angrier.

So she said nothing.

Suddenly, he seemed to understand where he was, what he was doing. He loosened his grip and stepped back, staring at his hands in the dim light that filtered through the closed blinds from the street lamp outside. 

“I’m sorry.” He paused for a moment. “I’ so, so sorry,” he whispered.

“Get out,” she warned.

He didn’t move.

“Go now or I will call the police.” The phone was behind him, though. There was no way she could reach it. She would have to make a break for the door….

“I love you,” he said, pleading with her.

She knew he loved her but she was not quite sure this was the kind of love she wanted. She needed time to think. She needed for him to leave. 

But he wasn’t going. 

Maybe she deserved it, this anger. After all, she hadn’t told him she was going out to return the engagement ring to the man she was supposed to marry before she had met him. She couldn’t put it off any longer. It had to be done.

She should have told him.

He hadn’t really tried to kill her, though, had he? She could still breathe the whole time. She had felt no pain. If she called the police, they probably would laugh at her.

Anyway, she loved him. He could change. She had faith. Heck, she wasn’t perfect herself.

At that moment he reached for her, which made her flinch, but he did not hurt her. Instead, he held her close against his chest, protectively.

“Don’t ever leave me,” he said. She felt warm and safe. 

Loved.

When he began to undress her, she did not stop him…

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96 thoughts on “Squeezed Tight

  1. OH Man, I want to scream at her to RUN!!! Good job for it gives a clear picture of what it is really like. As much as we want them to run and think they should run, sadly in the real world this is more what generally happens.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Oh, so well written. The tension is palpable. No way should she stay with this man – but, as you say, abusive relationships like this are so common. It’s very sad that the ones at risk don’t see it coming and back out before it’s too late.

    Liked by 1 person

      • It seems like a lifetime ago, now. There are myriad reasons women stay in a relationship like that. Not the least of which is it seems surreal. Denial is such strange phenomenon. The thing is, nobody – not a single solitary soul, knew about it until I was ready to get out. For all the women you know this is happening to, how many more are there that you have no idea about?

        Liked by 3 people

  3. wow, you write like you have been there…..which I hope is not the case….. including the disassociation one experiences as if they were watching the thing happening to them detached from it. well done!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I have no idea why I have missed so many of your posts. I had to re-follow to get back on track. I come from a medical family and my wife is a medical coder, plus we have had plenty of experience in doctors offices and hospitals, so I can very much relate to your subject matter. Always fascinating.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Yuck. It makes me feel a little sick in my stomach as I remember hands on my throat that didn’t actually squeeze tight. That was still too much. I didn’t leave right away, but thank God I came to my senses stopped going back. Happy endings do happen sometimes.

    Liked by 1 person

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