Changed

Fall colors on trees in the woods

We had some of our ugliest fights over that very thing.

Knock down, drag out, hurling insults at each other kind of fights. Back when I still saw the world in black and white, he saw gray. That made me see red.

This was long before Hilary. Long before Trump. 

How could I make love to someone who could vote that way? How could I eat and sleep and kiss someone who believed these things?

How?

I decided to take it day by day.

One day became two. Then three. And four…

Eventually I realized that politics didn’t matter so much in the grand scheme of things. Then, not only did I see the black and white and grays, I saw color. Glorious, fabulous color. And more than just red…

Love did that.

We can choose to move past disagreements, choose not to hate, choose to be adults who can love in the face of opposing views. We don’t have to mirror the hate we see in others. 

We can do better.

We will do better. 

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115 thoughts on “Changed

  1. Great message for today, Doc. At the end of the day it’s about more than the game of politics and people who make their living selling their souls for votes. It’s about the people around us. We can agree to disagree with respect. It’s okay to be confused or upset as long as we discuss, with civility, the questions that surround us. It’s okay to care for the person who doesn’t share your philosophy or views on certain things. It’s even okay to love them. Healing comes in time if we allow it to enter. Let’s hope we all find that path.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. beautiful! You put into words some of the feelings I have rumbling around inside of me. love the question..'”how could I make love to someone who thinks that way.? That is profound. It really is. Thank you~!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. You are absolutely right. I have many friends who voted for both Clinton and Trump and even one friend who says, probably jokingly, though, even in person it’s hard to tell with him because he acts like an android, that he doesn’t tell people who he voted for because, well, I’ll post his answer.

    “I don’t tell others, usually, because I know my choices are correct, but those who disagree with me know they are incorrect, and they are angry and upset at being forced to recognize they are incorrect. I don’t like making people angry and upset. (I think it’s mean to make people feel how small they are.) So I have to keep it secret.”

    My gut reaction was to reply on how arrogant and pompase I felt the response was in spite of the little graphic smiley.

    But aside from that silly comment, I’m not one to allow political opinion to influence who I will or won’t be friends with, especially if it’s someone that I know personally. Now, I have unfriended a couple of people but that wasn’t because they had different political views than me, it was because of other reasons.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Sorry, Doc, I can’t agree with you on this one. I will not acquiesce on issues where there is no middle ground. I will not make nice with people who support a racist, misogynistic, xenophobic president. I will not be friends with people who would rob my son and his family of health care. I will not break bread or attend Christmas parties with individuals who would spit on my bi-racial granddaughter and clamor that she should be deported to the other side of a wall. I will not stand and accept it as normal business when a Republican Congress fails to perform its constitutionally mandated function to fill a Supreme Court vacancy until their own squirrel-headed despot is in the Oval Office. I will not just shake my head and remain silent while gay friends lose their right to love and marry the person of their choice, and women are deprived of the opportunity to choose. No. There’s a time for rolling over and there’s a time to fight. This is a fighting time.

    Liked by 2 people

    • I think you misunderstand what I am saying. It does not mean you don’t still stand for what what is right. It does not mean we all join hands and sing kumbaya and kiss. Not at all. It didn’t mean that I didn’t still fight about politics. I still do. Very passionately. I just found a way not to hate because of it.

      Liked by 3 people

  5. Well said sentiment with a great example to back it up. It’s time to join forces and work on things we all have in common. A bit of that could lead to working on things we disagree on, but with a new found respect for each other.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Easier said than done, my friend…especially when one belongs to a group that is maligned solely for the colour of skin we wear.

    It is what it is. The Klansmen have spoken. People want to live in the 1950s, apparently. I’ll certainly defend myself against the cross-burning night-riders…count on it.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. A very good message for these days. I worry about how easily we demonize those who don’t share our political views. They’re not just wrong, it seems. They’re evil.

    Or we can reject that as foolishness and “choose to be adults.”

    Well said.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I stand unafraid. Now is not the time to hang our head, fear or leave the country. It is time to be vigilant, active, supportive. I still believe, for so many, politics is a game, and he played it better than anyone. Reality will set in, and we’ll see if he believed even half of what he spouted during the campaign. I don’t think so. But, we’ll see.
    p.s. My extended family is all over the place, my state went from blue to red, but when the dust settles, we will all come together. Everyone misjudged the power and voice of working class America. The folks I know who supported our president-elect are anything but deplorable. They are hurting, for a very long time now. They are still loved.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. So nice Victo! Sometimes we meet and we both see just pink. Then things change and you see white and I see red. And we both angry about each others color blindness. 🙂 And the anger forces us again to sit together look at the sunset for any overlap of that white and red…
    I liked this analysis of human emotions and we/me balance from dr. Lee: mentalhealthinessblog.com/2016/11/10/emotions-politics-and-being-human/

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I’m finding it hard.

    I fear for my son, who is draftable in 2.5 short years, well before this presidency ends.

    I fear for my wife, who works with bigots who now believe the country has given them a blessing for their hatred, given them a pass to say disgusting things, to intimidate.

    I fear for myself, no longer presenting in any pre-defined gender categorization.

    You ask me not to hate, but what am I to do in the face of it?

    Is it truly my responsibility to work with and for people who chose, on purpose, to legitimize their hatred of me and the people I love?

    Liked by 1 person

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