Blow

Sailboat in the Hudson Bay

“How much time are you spending on social media?” 

“Well, I stopped completely until about a week ago. I’m easing back into it.”

“Really? You stopped it all? Completely?” I tried to keep the suspicion out of my voice.

“Yeah. For about six months.”

“Why?”

“I didn’t like how it made me feel.” There was real, actual eye contact, no phone in sight. 

“Now that you are back at it, what do you think? Does it make you feel good?”

“No.”

“So what do you think you are going to do?”

“We’ll see.” She shrugged. “Maybe I’ll pull the plug again.”

That, folks, is a kid who is going to be all right…

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88 thoughts on “Blow

  1. Incredible isn’t it. Whenever my family goes out to eat, we talk to each other, so that my young daughter further understands how to engage with humans face to face. One of the things that aggravates me the most is seeing people sitting at dinner(together) in a restaurant, staring at their phones.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. I agree. Given that I grew up way before there was ever a hint of internet or social media…I feel that I have real choices on a daily basis. I know what it is to live without it, and have found that in moderation it works beautifully, however, when it starts to take over….time to step back – Thank you so much Janet 🙂

    Liked by 5 people

  3. I pulled the plug on FB about a year ago and it was the best thing I’ve ever done. I have more “free” time, I feel less anxious and “left out”, I talk to real people and I know who my real friends are. Social media is antisocial in my opinion.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. My nephew (at 21) does not own a computer, or a cell phone. Says he has other things to do with his life. If he feels the need to look something up, or send an email – he goes to the library and uses theirs.
    Good on him, I say.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I’ve pulled way back in the past year and deleted social media off my phone. I am only on it now when I’m at my laptop. It’s freed me up so much and my time. I hope I’m a better example to my children now than I was.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I am 48 now so grew up prior to the invention of the internet or mobile telephony. I sometimes look back to a golden age when one could sit in a library without the fear of interruption (other than the occasional disturbance caused by fellow browsers). Now we have mobiles going off in cinimas etc. Its the old problem of allowing what should be our servant (technology) becoming our master. Incidentally, while I have great admiration for the nephew of the person who commented earlier (the young man who doesn’t own a computer), I suspect that at some point in the future he will be forced by sheer pressure of circumstance to at least buy a phone with internet access. That does not, of course mean that he needs to (or will) become glued to it constantly. Kevin

    Liked by 2 people

  7. It’s good to take a break from Facebook whenever things get too much – which they do for most people, from time to time, I’m sure. In the past I have deactivated my account for a few months, then returned. But these days I just take a fortnight, week or even a few days’ break from it, to retain my sanity!

    Liked by 2 people

    • It scares me for my own kids but considering this social media thing is not likely to die out any time soon, I am going to have to figure out how to teach mine how to not lose themselves to it.

      Like

  8. Good conversation. My smartphone is for checking the weather, texting my grandchildren and hailing Uber. I do love email and the WordPress community. Hurrah for the young woman who went without social media and was happy.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I quit Facebook for about three years. When I finally went back a few months the ago, it seemed like most people had stopped posting much. I think maybe people don’t use it as much anymore in general, or maybe it’s just my acquaintances??

    Liked by 1 person

      • Oh how I despise Snapchat. Two of my young adult kids use it so I keep it to see their posts but overall, i’m a keep it more than five seconds kind a girl. My other two got fed up with it taking their time and quit. One son is harassed often for not seeing this or that as he rarely checks Facebook or Instagram. As for me, Facebook and the Blog are both my issue. I have a large Facebook following and I send my WordPress blog pieces there. Then I need to check on likes and comments and respond quickly so my phone is always getting my attention for a few days after a post. I don’t want to be rude and not say thanks of comment back to fellow bloggers. I’m not sure the best way to handle that except to leave my phone in my purse or another part of the house so I don’t hear every little bling and check on it. It’s certainly a stressor for me when I realize I’ve been checking my phone for half the morning and not gotten any writing or constructive work done. And then there’s my Instagram obsessed photographer husband. I have to check out his bugs and blooms. Oh, and my oldest daughter’s jewelry website, lillymariefashions now that she’s posting nature photos as well as jewelry and then there’s my other daughter who i doing a youtube channel and posting health and wellness vlogs regularly. ARRRRRGGGGG Too much on-liine. All good stuff but I keep thinking how else could I be using my time. Apparently by unloading on you. Ha
        I should copy and paste all this and call it a blog. Ha. I’m done. Too much keyboard time. You sure opened a can of worms on this one. Touched a nerve. How’s that for cliches?

        Liked by 1 person

  10. Just last night I sat on Facebook looking at dog videos. Got up and went outside and realized it was gorgeous out and I missed the opportunity to sit out in the garden. Sweet nights like that are coming to an end soon, so after dinner, the computer gets shut down.

    Liked by 2 people

  11. I am on Facebook most days. I do not, however, have Facebook on my phone – only the home computer. I don’t need my phone to update, the chances are that I will meet the person in a few minutes in the Shopping Center anyway. I use Facebook as it was supposed to be used – to keep in touch with family and friends and all the friends I have on there I will meet at various times during the course of the week. It is a small community – although I do have a FEW people in the dog world that i talk to or follow their posts.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Ha! You have a healthy approach to social media. My friends were engaged in incredibly petty stuff on Facebook, posting ugly political crap that was nauseating and making sure to map out their day with a post every fifteen minutes. Such drivel. If you have the right “friends” it could be fun, I imagine. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  12. Great post!! Sign of a good parent who knows how to let the kiddo, within limits, learn life lessons on their own.Plus I believe the technology is physically, mentally and socially harmful. Not to mention promoting easy bullying.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. I completely disconnected for a year. It was nice not to see all the stupidity that runs rampant on social media, but at the same time I lost contact with several people important to me who don’t live close enough for me to easily stay in contact with. So I’m back on FB, but I also use browser extensions to heavily modify the things FB will show me. Let’s face it, I need to do that to preserve what little sanity I have left.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Possibly I am lucky to have engaged in life before the heavier use of internet and social media, so I know the difference. I use Facebook to stay in touch with family and friends and connect in various musician circles. I use Word Press to practice and work on my writing and to learn and connect with other keen and eager writers and photographers and travelers in our beautiful world. Social media can be a helpful tool sometimes, as I have been of assistance to a young or older friend, here and there, who needed someone to talk to, and I was told that it helped them. I also created a group page that encourages the members to post (if they so choose) about three good things in their day and/or read about others and their positive moments. I stay away from the negative and anxious things that have a tendency to swirl about on social media. Most of the time I do the social media on my computer, and my phone is used for calls and texts and the odd snapchat. All that to say, that I enjoy the social media community in moderation – taking breaks from time to time – and that I equally enjoy and have opportunity on an almost daily basis to engage in interesting, fun, educational, and enlightening person-to-person conversations. ❤ Thank you for posting about this subject, Victo. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

      • Haha! That first sentence in the first comment sounds a bit funny. I was intending to refer to your readers who pointed out that they had grown up in a time before all this heavy use of internet had sprung forth. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • You have a very healthy approach. It is having the ability to recognize the slippery slope before you slide down it into the abyss that makes all the difference. It IS easier for our generation to pick up on that to a point because of knowing life without it. Blogging is the only social media that I engage in because I feel I have more control here. Try unfriending someone on Facebook that *Knows* you. Yikes.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Yes…..I am familiar with that scenario. Truly….it’s Yikes! 🙂 I’ve done my share of foolishness on Facebook. But on the flip side, they turned into good lessons about becoming more discerning.
        And I am glad that you DO blog as your social media, as I get to read your engaging, compelling, and at times educationally enlightening stories.

        Liked by 1 person

  15. I do a 30-day deactivation every year. I’m actually on my break right now. It’s weird, but I don’t feel like going back. Like I don’t feel as if I’m missing something. In fact, I think I can predict what everyone’s doing lol

    Liked by 2 people

  16. I ended Facebook about the same time I ended my blogs. Maybe it has something to do with being a founding member of Misanthropes Anon? As several have already said yet, not only is this a great insight for a kid (regulating social media) but I work with a bunch of people who are 40, 50 and 60 who need to figure out this lesson. How much fun to quit MY Facebook, which honestly didn’t have much drama in it, but too much politics and stupid people, only to listen to OTHER people’s Facebook D.R.A.M.A. on an ongoing, daily basis? (Hint: Not much fun at all.) Their social media addiction is just odd to watch. These are adults who jabber over someone defriending them (someone they don’t know well, have never met, but this is a CRISIS!).

    Liked by 2 people

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