Deflowering

Close up of a rose
“Who hogs the sheets at night?”

The bride and groom hesitated. A room full of reception guests held their breath waiting for the answer.

Awkward silence dragged on.

“Uh, we don’t know?” The bride offered, finally.

Mercifully the MC seemed to sense the faux pas and appeared set to quickly move on to the next question. The relief in the room was palpable until he got the next question completely out. 

“So who snores the most?”

Another awkward silence. The bride and groom turned to look at each other in disbelief.

Granted, it was a second wedding but there were four (yes FOUR) pastors present at the reception plus two sets of parents in their 70’s and 80’s, deeply religious people. Three fourths of the room sat frowning disapprovingly, their arms crossed. The rest leaned forward grinning in amusement, not wanting to miss a single word. 

Always know your audience….

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60 thoughts on “Deflowering

  1. I’m sorry but that would have been hilarious.

    It reminds me of something. I was at a former pastors house for dinner one day and they had a new guy over that was checking out the church. The were preaching at him about not doing it before marriage. He looked at the pastor’s wife and asked her if she wore white on her wedding day to which there was a silence and then she answered “no.” Then the pastor fumbling made some ramble about passions running high. They were so put in their place and it may go without saying that guy never came back again. Oh my gosh that pastor and his wife really deserved that.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. One of your best here. Gee that was a predicament. Wonder if the coupe chewed the MC’s butt off later.
    My husband and I were married at a Methodist preacher’s home. I detested weddings and have yet to figure out why the importance of all the hoopla. The less you spend, the more likely you will stay married.

    We were married 47 years before my husband died. I never regretted having a wedding.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. 😂😂😂😂😂 that’s funny we just attended my friend’s daughter’s wedding and the bride and groom were very opened that they’d lived together prior to marriage. I was very surprised considering the priest and nuns were present at the reception.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Always know your audience is always a big plus.. But in this case, actually knowing the guests of honor probably would’ve avoided the wildly inappropriate questions.. A short interview with them prior to the wedding would’ve given any rational person a heads up 😮
    Isn’t is amazing how forward and brazen many “adults” are ?
    I still can be dumbfounded with their cluelessness..
    Great read Victo 👍

    Liked by 1 person

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