Real Terror Is….

Central Park, NYC

“Mommy, there is a fifth grader at school whose mommy had her when she was thirteen! Maybe I will get lucky and have a baby when I am thirteen. Then I will have someone to boss around.”

“Uh. Sweetheart. You don’t want to have a baby when you are thirteen.”

“Why not?” She was incredulous.

How to communicate that it is a terrible idea without tearing down the other girl’s mommy?

“Because having a baby when you are a teenager is generally frowned upon.” 


“A baby is a lot of responsibility. A lot of dirty diapers. Tons of poop. It is also very, very painful. You want to wait until your body is big enough.”

She was undeterred. “How do you get a baby?” There was silence as I pondered whether or not my six year old daughter was ready to learn the specifics about baby-making when suddenly she brightened up and blurted out, “Drinking alcohol. Is that how you do it?”

“Um. Yes? Sometimes?” My mind wandered to the patient who had recently gone on a so called booze cruise and came back pregnant with triplets…

“Alright!” She smiled sweetly at me, finally satisfied that now she knew the secret and then without missing a beat she said, “I am going to drink some alcohol.”


135 thoughts on “Real Terror Is….

  1. This really made me laugh. In some African cultures it is traditional to have more than one wife. My son came home a while back and asked me how many wives he could have. I said one. He said “but why? Jacob Zuma has five wives.” An interesting discussion followed about religious and cultural differences.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Obviously NOT the response you were looking for !

    I had a thirteen-year-old student one year who was pregnant and planned to keep her baby even though she rejected the father. She had delivered one child at age eleven, which the “system” did not allow her to keep, and she yearned for another. We had many conversations about her choice, but mostly she wanted to be the mother she never had. I have to admit that she was a mature girl with self-control being a more dominant quality, but could she succeed as a mother? I doubt it.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. LOLOL.

    Kids these days.
    Our foster daughter (who fantasized about strangling babies but still desperately wanted to have them and soon) was stopped in her tracks by a therapist who showed her a medical book that had an illustration of a penis. She cried all the way home, but we hope the image she found revolting stays in her mind for a long time. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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