“But my diabetes is doing great, doc.” He shrugged.
The man was a brand new patient. He had stopped his meds on a whim a few years back, deciding that he did not need them. He had not been back to a doctor since then.
His wife had made him an appointment for a physical, hoping he would start taking care of himself again. At least she cared. She sat in a corner quietly, meekly watching the exchange.
“How would you know? You are not checking your blood sugars, are you?”
“I don’t feel bad.”
“You probably don’t recognize that you feel bad, you have ignored it for so long. Your pee? You are spilling a ton of protein. All if that sugar has poked holes in your filter and you will end up in kidney failure if you keep ignoring it. Try to find a pulse in your feet. It isn’t possible. That is why you no longer have hair below your knees, unless you have started waxing. I bet you also are having some erectile dysfunction…”
“You dye your hair don’t you?” His eyes narrowed.
“Yep. I sure do, covers the grays.”
He leaned back and crossed his arms over his chest, smirking. ” I knew it,” he said to his wife. “Fake red head.”
“I am going to write a prescription for some diabetes medication, something for your cholesterol, and we have got to get your blood pressure down so I am going to start you on a medication for that, too.”
“Why did you start dying your hair red? That isn’t your natural color is it? We should check your pubic hair, that would tell.” He smirked. “You weren’t getting any sex were you? That’s why you did it…” His smirk turned into a sneer.
He was feeling out of control. He liked being the big boss man, in charge of everything. He had a problem with women. Giving any amount of control to a woman was going to be hard for him. This was his way of trying to wrestle control back, by trying to humiliate me, knock my feet out from under me. I could let this escalate by being rude or defensive back or I could turn it around and make him laugh to diffuse the situation.
“Nah, sex isn’t a problem for me. I get plenty of that. But you are right that men either fear or lust after the hair.” I leaned over to his wife and whispered loud enough so he could also hear, “Either way I get what I want…” I winked at her. Then I turned back to him. “By the time I am through, YOU will fear the hair…” Then I winked at him.
They both laughed.